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找到良配的5个方法

5 Ways to Choose the Right Partner for You

当你不知从何处开始时
Dating can be a confusing experience
约会会让人困惑不已
when you’re unsure about where to start.
很少有人第一次恋爱就遇到对的人
It’s rare for anyone to meet the right person the first time they jump into a relationship.
恋爱是个不断试错的过程
And it’s always going to be a trial and error process.
我们谈的恋爱越多
The more we do it,
就会越明白什么样的人更适合我们
the better we get at choosing someone who’s good for us.
但你们很幸运
But lucky for you guys,
我们想出了一些应当牢记的指标
we’ve come up with some helpful pointers to keep in mind.
以下五种方法将助你选对合适的伴侣
Here are five ways to choose the right partner for you.
1 别让害怕影响你的选择
1. Don’t let fear guide your choice.
有时我们维持和某个人的关系
Sometimes we stick with someone
只是因为害怕找不到更好的人
because we are afraid we will never find someone better.
当消极的想法占据主导
While we allow our negative thoughts to take over
并说服我们
and be the voice of reason,
我们最终会安定下来
we end up settling.
这就是为什么人们可能
This is why people may have a hard time
很难结束一段有害或是虐待关系
leaving toxic and abusive relationships,
或者仅仅是一段不合适的关系
or relationships that simply aren’t working out.
要意识到 你是有机会与由衷地爱你
Realize that you have the potential to be with someone
关心你的人在一起的
who sincerely loves and cares about you.
你在错误的对象上投入的时间
The time you invest in with the wrong person
就是你错失的寻找合适伴侣的时间
is time you miss out on with the right one.
2 别误将精神虐待当激情
2. Don’t mistake emotional abuse for passion.
电影和社交媒体经常将爱情故事
Movies and social media often depict romance
描绘成情感过山车
as an emotional roller coaster
情侣总在争吵 分手 复合
where couples fight, break up and make up and
说他们离开对方就活不下去
say that they can’t live without each other.
如果这种行为总是不断发生
This is actually a form of emotional abuse
这实际上就是一种精神虐待
if it’s an ongoing behavior.
如果你为一段感情付出所有
If someone is keeping you at arms length
对方却总是和你保持距离
and isn’t being fully emotionally available,
而且并不对你充满爱意
it’s not fair to you
这就对你很不公平
when you’re giving the relationship everything you’ve got.
你值得拥有一个将你放在首位的伴侣
You deserve to be with someone who makes your priority
而非一个让你怀疑自己的价值并为此焦虑的人
instead of a partner who makes you second-guess your own worth and creates anxiety.
如果你觉得时常如履薄冰
If you feel like you’re constantly walking on egg shells,
或者总是害怕让他们炸毛
or are afraid of setting them off,
你就需要重新评估一下
it’s time to reevaluate
要不要继续和他们在一起了
whether it’s still a good idea to be with them.
3 扔掉你的检查清单
3. Throw away your checklist.
完美并不存在
Perfection doesn’t exist.
世上没有白马王子和灰姑娘
There’s no such thing as Prince Charming nor Cinderella.
虽然不能将就
Although it’s important not to settle for less,
我们也不能被自己的设想蒙蔽双眼
we shouldn’t let our ideas blind us, either.
期望越高
While we have super high expectations,
失望越大
they only set us up for disappointment.
然后我们就会想
And then we will begin to wonder
为什么我们找不到对象
why we can’t find anyone.
当你在寻找完美伴侣上花了过多时间
When you spend so much time trying to find the perfect partner,
你也失去了寻找合适伴侣的时间
you miss out on finding the right partner.
恋爱关系应该基于现实
Relationship should be based on reality,
而非看上去很好的纸片人
not being with someone who looks good on paper.
4 给对方展示自己的机会
4. Give people a chance to show who they are.
不要因为对方的穿着和约会对象
Don’t be so quick to dismiss or reject someone
而早早地就无视或拒绝对方
just because of what they wear or who they hang out with.
你应该根据他们的内在品格做出判断
You should only judge someone based on the content of their character.
是的 毫无疑问 外貌很重要
Yes. There’s no doubt that physical attraction is essential.
但那并不是最重要的因素
But it’s not the most important factor, either.
不要拘泥于表面的细节
Don’t get so cutoff on superficial details,
比如你是哪一类型
like what your type is
或者他们有多少钱
or how much money they have.
而是问问你自己和他们在一起舒不舒服
Instead, ask yourself if you feel comfortable around them,
或者你们的笑点是否相同
or what the two of you laugh about.
相反
On the contrary,
也不要仅仅因为初时擦出火花
don’t be so quick to launch onto someone either,
就过快答应对方
just because you initially have a fiery connection.
你需要在答应他们之前 接触一段时间
You want to make sure you get to know someone well over time
才能确保足够了解对方
before committing to them.
5 别在无法改变的事上浪费时间
5. Don’t keep waiting for something that won’t change.
你要对自己诚实并明白自己价值是什么
Be honest with yourself and know what your values are.
如果你很清楚
If it’s clear that
你的伴侣给不了你想要的
what you want doesn’t align with your partner,
那么是时候离开了
then know that it’s time to move on.
和能与你共同成长进步的人在一起很重要
It’s important to be able to grow and evolve with someone,
而不要与停滞不前 悲观厌世的人在一起
rather than feeling stuck and doom.
如果你充满忠贞 爱意 并且耐心
Have faith and love and be patient,
对的人将在你准备好时悄然而至
you’ll notice the right person when you’re ready.
什么是你在约会前
What are some key points
应该思考的关键点呢?
you should consider before dating someone?
请在下方评论区分享你的想法
Please share your thoughts and ideas with us below.
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谢谢您的观看!
Thanks for watching!

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译制信息
视频概述

祝大家早日找到对的人

听录译者

Felicity

翻译译者

Zeitgeist

审核员

审核员 DL

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1-Nc1UIq20

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