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讨好型人格的五个表现 – 译学馆
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讨好型人格的五个表现

5 Signs You're a People Pleaser

Being kind will get you far in life.
善良让你在人生路上走得更远
When you can go beyond the ego,
当你能超越自我
you are able to break free from self-absorbed habits
就能摆脱那些
that can damage your health.
有害健康的自恋习惯
But swing on the other side to extremes
但是换到另一个极端
and too much kindness can just be destructive.
太过善良只会是毁灭性的
Family and marriage therapist Darlene Lancer says
婚姻家庭治疗师Darlene Lancer说
that people-pleasing habits start from your childhood.
取悦他人的习惯始于童年
If you feel like you always have to accommodate to others,
如果你总是觉得自己必须迎合他人
it may have stemmed from your parents,
这也许源自你的父母
who withheld love from you,
他们对你的爱太克制
forced impossible expectations on you
对你抱有不切实际的期盼
and practice unfair ways of disciplining you.
用不公正的方式管教你
Does this sound like you?
这听起来像在说你吗?
Here are 5 Signs You Are A People Pleaser.
下列5种迹象说明你是讨好型人格
1. You agree with others
第一 你因害怕冲突
because you’re afraid of conflict.
而赞同别人的看法
Do you have different political beliefs from your friends
你是否和你朋友政治信仰不合
that you keep to yourself,
但没有说出来?
or go along with the family tradition,
你是否虽然讨厌你家庭的传统
even though you hate it?
但依然会遵循它?
If you agree with others,
如果你只是为了让别人开心
just for the sake of making others feel happy.
而同意别人的观点
Consequently, you run the risk
那么你就有可能
of making yourself feel uncomfortable.
让自己感到不舒服
You might end up losing friends
当你说出真实的想法
when you state your honest opinions
或者陷入家庭争论时
or get into domestic quarrels,
你可能以失去朋友收场
but this can be beneficial in the long run.
但长远来看这是有益的
You can find out who your true friends are,
你可以通过展现真实的自我
by showing your real self
来发现谁是你真正的朋友
and take an active part
并积极参与
in decision making with your family.
家庭的表决
Remember: being passive
要记住:
easily results in dissatisfaction
你不说出想法
when your thoughts aren’t being heard.
处事被动容易引发不满
But practicing self-expression
但是练习表达自我
helps you feel more self-assured
能让你对自身价值观和理想
about your values and ideals.
感觉更有自信
2. Saying’No’ is a challenge for you.
第二 说“不”对你来说是个挑战
Are you constantly busy
你是不是因为
because you’re always taking on
总是要处理太多项目
more than enough projects?
所以一直很忙?
Pause for a second and ask yourself:
暂停一下 问问自己:
when was the last time
最近一次允许自己
you allowed yourself a good break?
好好休息一下是什么时候?
It’s great helping someone reach their goals
帮助别人实现目标
and show people
向别人表明
you are a reliable worker, friend and colleague.
你是个可靠的员工 朋友 同事是件很棒的事
But your dreams, goals and health matter too.
但是你的梦想 目标 健康也很重要
It doesn’t make you a bad person
如果你想取消周末计划
if you want to cancel plans over the weekend
或者抽时间先做自己的工作
or make time to get your own work done first.
并不会显得你是个糟糕的人
3. When you help others out,
第三 当你帮助他人摆脱困境
you feel more resentful than fulfilled.
你感到更多的是怨恨 而不是满足
Research shows that practicing compassion
研究显示 对他人慈悲
can give you a sense of purpose
能让你有使命感
and make you feel more connected to your community.
使你感觉与你的社区联系更加紧密
But when you do it to a point where it burns you out,
但当你这样做到筋疲力尽的地步时
you might want to retreat for a bit
你也许会稍微有点退缩
and reflect on what’s not working.
反思是哪里不对
Psychotherapist Sharon Martin
心理治疗师Sharon Martin
advises you to pay attention
建议你注意一下
to whether you are doing things out of true desire
你做事情是出于真心的意愿
or because you feel obligated.
还是因为觉得有义务
4. You’re incredibly hard on yourself.
第四 你对自己极其苛刻
When parents are overbearing
当父母蛮横专制
and have high demands for you,
对你要求甚高
it puts you at a higher risk of being a people pleaser.
你就更可能成为一个讨好型人格的人
Does this sound like you?
这听起来像在说你吗?
When you make mistakes,
当你犯错时
you don’t cut yourself slack
你不放自己一马
and strive for perfection, instead of progress.
不止要求进步 而要力求完美
Psychologists Thomas Kern and Andrew Hill
心理学家Thomas Kern和Andrew Hill
define perfectionism as
将完美主义定义为:
“an irrational desire to achieve,
一种非理性的想要达成目标的愿望
along with being overly critical
伴有对自己和他人
of one’s self and others.”
过于挑剔的现象
When you don’t embrace your failures,
当你不能接受失败
you will never learn resilience,
就永远不会有快速恢复的能力
an essential life skill to have.
这是一项基本的生活技能
Focus on your strengths instead
相反 你要专注于你的优势
and practice mindfulness.
练习保有平和的心态
5. You pretend like you’re doing alright,
第五 当你内心受伤时
when you’re actually hurting on the inside.
你假装一切都好
When you experience all the previous points mentioned
当你有过前文要点提到过的经历
( over-extending yourself to others,
(过度关注他人
being hard on yourself
对自己苛刻
and agreeing with others just to avoid conflict),
只为避免冲突而向他人妥协)
it makes it difficult for people to reach you
你对表达真实想法
when you aren’t vulnerable enough
不情不愿时
to state your true feelings.
旁人很难了解你
Bottling your emotions up,
压抑你的情绪
instead of openly talking about them,
而不是敞开来谈论
can prevent you from forming authentic connections.
会妨碍你与他人建立真正的联系
Is it really worth keeping everyone happy
如果只能维持表面关系
when this only sustains artificial relationships?
努力使每个人开心真的值得吗?
Remember this the next time you
下次你想掩饰你的失望时
want to hide your disappointment.
要记得这些话
When was the last time you did something
上一次你讨好别人
without feeling the pressure to please?
而不感到有压力是什么时候
Want to learn how to stop negative thoughts?
想要了解怎样停止这些消极想法吗?
Check out our video here.
请观看我们的视频
Thanks for watching!
谢谢收看!
Hey guys, my name is Yumi
大家好 我是Yumi
and I am one of the partners of Psych2Go.
是《来吧!心理学》的合伙人之一
Today, I’m not only here to introduce myself
今天 我来这里 不仅是要介绍我自己
but to also introduce you guys
还要向你们介绍
to our amazing Psych2Go magazines!
这本很棒的《来吧!心理学》
Don’t they look wonderful?
这杂志看起来很棒 不是吗?
These magazines were all created by our amazing
这些杂志都是由我们才华横溢的
and talented magazine manager, Imogen.
经理Imogen创办的
She put in all her time hard work
她投入了所有的时间来工作
just to create this for you guys.
就是为了替你们编写这些杂志
So, everyone can have a little piece of Psych2Go
因此 无论你们在哪 都能接触到几篇
wherever you guys are!
《来吧!心理学》的文章
So, we are going to do a little giveaway right now.
现在我们打算做个小小的有奖问答活动
So, we’re gonna pick 3 winners.
我们打算选出3名获奖者
Um, there’s no deadline to this at all.
此项活动没有截止日期
And all you’ve gotta do is three little things, okay?
你所要做的只有三件小事 可以吗?
Number one is to follow
第一件事 如果你还没关注
and subscribe to our Youtube channel
并订阅我们的油管频道
if you haven’t done so already.
马上关注并订阅
Number two is either take a picture of,
第二件事 拍个照
ya know, this picture right here,
对 就是这儿这样的照片
a screenshot or any picture of Psych2Go
或者任何关于《来吧!心理学》的照片或截屏
and #Psych2Go on your, um, social media:
打上Psych2Go的标签
Instagram, Facebook, Tumblr, whatever it is.
发布在你的ins facebook tumblr之类的社交媒体上
And number three, uh,
第三件事
we’re gonna have a link down below
视频下方有一个连接
of a really short questionnaire
里面有个相当短的调查问卷
for us to connect with you
方便我们与你联系
and get to know you guys a little bit more, okay?
并且更多地对你进行一些了解可以吗?
But that’s about it!
仅此而已!
Um, we want to thank you for all your support
我们想要感谢你
through our amazing, amazing psychology company
通过我们非常非常棒的心理学公司对我们的支持
and we wouldn’t be here without you guys.
要不是你们 我们也不可能出现在这里
So thank you and thanks for tuning in! Bye!
因此 谢谢你们 也谢谢你们提交问卷 再见

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视频概述

本视频介绍了讨好型人格的五种表现并安利了《来吧!心理学》

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翻译译者

狗熊绣花

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视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhFDM4YtAjM

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