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学校从未教过的5种生活技能——自我完善和个性发展小窍门 – 译学馆
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学校从未教过的5种生活技能——自我完善和个性发展小窍门

5 Life Skills never taught by school teachers | Self Improvement & Personality Development Tips

Hi guys, welcome to the class,
大家好 欢迎来到本节课堂
we are back to school, yippee!
我们回到学校了哟
Are you wondering why are we in school today?
你想知道我们今天为什么要上课吗?
Well that’s because I saw you bunking some important lessons in school.
因为我发现你们在学校漏掉了一些很重要的课程
Yes and those lessons will be learned today.
是的 我们今天就是要学习这些课程
I know, I know you were doing all naughty things that time
我知道~ 你们在学校净做些调皮捣蛋的事情
and that made you bunk some important lessons, I know.
这会让你们漏掉一些重要的课程 我知道的
Okay don’t over think guys, I know this is too much drama
好了 别多想了朋友们 我可能说的太戏剧性啦
but I think we should do some drama sometimes.
但我认为生活就是要偶尔来点戏剧性
So we all know that school is the place where we gain the major chunk of our education,
我们都知道学校是我们受到绝大部分教育的地方
but sadly there are certain essential skills that are not taught at schools
但遗憾的是有一些基本技能学校是不会教给我们的
in this session today I’ve got for you five essential skills
在今天的节目中 我要教你们五项基本技能
like empathy, conflict resolving skills, asking questions, negotiating,
比如共情能力 处理冲突能力 提问技巧 谈判技巧
body language and listening skills that we were not taught in our schools by our teachers.
肢体语言和聆听 这些都是老师在学校不会教给我们的
But these skills are extremely important for the real world
但是这些技能在真实世界中非常重要
and by real world I mean the practical world where you need practical skills.
这里提到的真实世界 指的是需要实际技能的现实世界
For example , skills to operate at your workplace, at your college or with your network of friends and colleagues.
比如 在你的公司里 大学里 或者是在你朋友圈和同事圈里运用的技巧
So as you already know you’re watching me on Skillopedia,
所以正如你已经知道的 你在Skillopedia上观看我的视频
the place to learn skills for the real world and let’s get started, my name is Michelle.
一个学习真实世界中的技能的地方 那我们从现在开始吧 我叫Michelle
So here is a cheat sheet to the five essential skills
下面是五个基本技能的介绍
that your school missed teaching you and how you can cultivate these skills now.
这是学校老师没有教给你们的技能 以及该如何培养这些技能
Well the first skill for the day.
那么第一个技能是
Why don’t you try and guess the name of the skill?
为什么你们不尝试猜一下这项技能的名字呢?
Okay, here you go,
好吧 开始
“ She is always sitting in the corner, that’s why no one likes her,
“她总是坐在角落里 这就是没人喜欢她的原因
even I don’t like her and I don’t know why she always sad, I won’t go and talk to her. ”
甚至我也不喜欢她 我也不知道她为什么总是那么忧伤 我不会走过去和她聊天”
Aha! This was harsh.
啊哈 这很残酷
Could you guess which is this skill that our school hasn’t taught us?
你能猜一下这是哪一项 学校还没教给我们的技能吗?
Well ,this child did not show any empathy towards her classmate.
是的 这个孩子没有向她的同学表示出任何的同情
But what is empathy?
但是什么是共情呢?
So empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person.
共情是一种理解和分享他人感受的能力
Basically it means to put yourself in someone’s shoe,
其实它就意味着换位思考
whether it fits you or not, but try to feel what they are feeling.
无论你是否同意对方的观点 你都要尝试去体会他们的感受
So this is one skill that we are not taught in our school.
这就是一个我们不能在学校里学到的技能
Now the question is,
现在 问题来了
how to show empathy towards someone ,
如何向别人展示同情心
and how to use it as a tool for building relationships?
以及如何把它用做维系关系的工具呢?
So step one is,
第一步是
‘ to be present for the person and hear their side of the story ’.
走近那个人 并听听他们的故事
Step two is ‘ when you hear someone’s story,see it from their point of view,
第二步 当你听某人的故事时 要从他们的角度出发
do not judge what’s right or what’s wrong’.
不要去判断是对还是错
Just listen to their emotions.
只需要好好聆听他们的感受
Step 3 ‘ask questions to understand them better,
第三步 问一些问题去更好的理解他们
give encouragement and offer to help if possible ’.
尽可能给予鼓励和主动提出帮助
Okay now the second skill for you to guess,
好了 现在来猜一下第二个技能
here we go,
我们开始吧
“ You broke my pencil. ” “ That’s because you didn’t return my eraser. ”
“你弄坏了我的铅笔” “那是因为你没有归还我的橡皮”
“I’m not gonna talk to you, you are so mean, go away. ”
“我不想和你说话了 你太刻薄了 走开”
Could you guess which skill is this?
你能猜出这是哪项技能吗?
Well,this is a bomb-disposal skill which we call as ‘conflict resolving’.
好的 这是一种拆除炸弹的技能 我们称它为 冲突解决技巧
So conflicts are so common in our lives just like you saw one now
在我们的生活中冲突很普遍 就像你刚刚所看到的那样
and conflict is a serious argument or disagreement that you can have with someone over a matter.
冲突是你与某人在某件事上发生的一场严重的争论或分岐
Now conflicts aren’t avoidable, are they?
冲突是不可避免的 对吧
But resolving them is possible.
但是解决冲突是有可能的
So this is another skill that is ignored in our school and that’s
所以这是另一个在我们学校被忽视的技能
why the person you had a disagreement with in grade eight,
这就是为什么一个人与你在八年级产生了分歧
almost became your enemy when you passed out from the school.
然后在你一毕业就变成了你的敌人
Okay, well that’s happened with me though.
好吧 尽管这个也同样发生在我身上
Now the best way to resolve conflict is first, ‘respond but never react’.
解决冲突的最好方式是 首先 回应但不要行动
So responding to the situation means you keep emotions in control
对这种情境的回应意味着你要控制好情绪
and focus on the problem not the person.
把注意力集中在问题上 而不是那个人
Let’s say your colleague,
假如你的同事
let’s say you found out that your colleague complained about your late coming to the boss.
假如你发现你的同事向老板抱怨你迟到了
Now here is a conflict.
现在这就是一场冲突
You’re quite angry.
你很生气
So the first thing is respond to it by coming on time
所以第一件事就是用准时上班来回应它
and don’t react by shouting on them.
而不是向他们大骂
So that’s the difference.
所以这就是不同之处
Second you should let the other person know that you want to come to an agreement,
第二 你应该让其他人知道你想和解
so in this case you will talk to your colleague and resolve the matter
所以这种情况下 你将会和你的同事谈一谈 并解决问题
before it escalates or before it increases.
并在冲突变得更激烈之前解决这个问题
Third, clearly and quietly communicate what you want from the situation.
第三 清楚而平和地表达你想从这个情况中得到什么
so here you could respectfully go to your colleague
所以你可以去你的同事那里
and tell them not to interfere in your personal decisions
告诉他们不要干预你个人的决定
fantastic
很棒
Now let’s guess the fourth skill
现在我们一起来猜一下第四个技能
“ Yes ma’am I know that answer, I will answer to this question.”
“是的 女士 我知道答案 我要回答这个问题”
“ What do you ask me? ”
“你问我什么?”
“ I know the answer. ”
“我知道答案”
We often say that in school
我们在学校经常这么说
Well I never asked too many questions
我从来不过多提问
because I didn’t know if the answers were right
因为我们不知道答案是否是对的
Okay
那好
so I think you must have got it now I’m talking about, ‘ asking questions ’.
我想你一定明白了 我说的“问问题”是什么意思
Yes a good communicator is not somebody who has all the answers,
是的 一个好的交流者不一定知道所有的答案
but someone who has good questions in order to keep the interaction going.
但一定是一个会提问 能让交谈继续下去的人
So a great way to ask good questions is to ask questions that could lead to interesting answers
因此 一个好的提问方式是 询问能够得出有趣答案的问题
To do that you should keep your questions open-ended
为此 你应该保持你的问题的开放性
By that I mean you should ask questions that can not be answered yes
我的意思是 你应该提出一些不能被回答”是”的问题
that cannot be answered with a simple yes or no.
不能用简单的是或否回答
But questions that require a detailed answer
而是需要详细答案的问题
and this will add spice to your conversations and keep your conversations going.
这将有给你们的对话增添趣味 使你们的对话继续下去
For example
例如
you could ask,
你可以问
“ What are you planning to do immediately after your graduation? ”
“你计划毕业后做什么?”
Instead of saying, “ Are you graduating in April?
而不是 “你是四月份毕业吗?”
” Which would be usually answered as, “ Yes. ” Or, “No”
这种问题通常会被简单的回答为是或不是
Okay, now here is for you to guess the next skill.
好了 现在轮到你们猜下一个技能了
“Can you give me that cookie?”
你能拿给我那盒饼干吗?
“ Yes but It’s 400 bucks. ”
可以 但要400美元
Okay but my mama gave me only 50. ”
好的 可是我妈妈只给了我50美元
“ Okay, take it for 50 but give me the rest tomorrow.”
那好吧 你今天给我50美元 明天再把剩下的给我
“ Okay this is such an expensive cookie, it must be delicious.”
好的 这盒饼干这么贵 一定很好吃
Oh. Do you think this child knows how to negotiate?
哦 你觉得这个小孩知道如何谈判吗?
Well I think he doesn’t know.
嗯 我觉得他并不知道
Many people find negotiation as one of the hardest communication skills to learn.
很多人认为谈判是最难学的交流技能之一
Well they must be nice people.
嗯 他们一定是很好的人
I said that because negotiation is a skill
我这样说是因为谈判是一种技巧
which is all about trying to gain personal interest by reaching to an agreement with the other party.
是一种通过与其他阵营达成和解 来获取自身利益的技能
But this is also a necessary skill if you are involved in dealings every day
但如果你每天都参与交易 那么谈判也是一种很必要的技巧
and the fact is that no one can avoid negotiating in life and work.
事实上没人能够在生活中和工作中避免面对它
So whether you’re at a grocery store
因此 无论你在一个杂货店
or at office doing a business deal you will need to negotiate.
或者在办公室谈生意 你都需要谈判
So let’s learn the technique to negotiate which wasn’t taught in our schools.
所以 让我们来学习这个在我们学校里不教的技能吧
First step, ‘be assertive’,
第一步 坚定
which means you should be confident and stern about what you want
也就意味着你应该对你想要的充满自信和坚定
as if someone is ready to negotiate with you,
就像一些正准备和你谈判的人
you have something they need.
并且你有他需要的东西
So when you’re asking aim as high as you think is possible for them.
这时候你要尽可能的向他们要求你想要的
Second,‘you should have options’,
第二 你应该有选择
so if they don’t agree with your demands you should have other options to present.
所以如果对方拒绝你的要求你应该提出另外的选项
Third, ‘show them how you’re looking for a win-win situation ’,
第三 给他们展示你正在如何谋求双赢的情况
which means that you want both the parties to have enough benefit.
意思是你希望双方都能获得足够的利益
So here we are at the last skill for the day
好了 到了我们今天讨论的最后一个技能啦
have a hunch, I mean have a guess
预感一下 我是说 猜猜看
“She talks so much, she’s always blabbering,blah-blah-blah-blah-blah
她话太多了 总是在喋喋不休 巴拉巴拉巴拉巴拉巴拉
why do teachers talk so much? ”
为什么老师话这么多?
You know what I got a new car and you know what, blah-blah-blah-blah-blah.
你知道我买了一辆新车 你知道的 巴拉巴拉巴拉
This is how kids are
这就是孩子们的样子
When teachers are teaching they just can’t keep quiet
当老师正在教学时 他们无法保持安静
so it open happens we find it hard to trust somebody who talks a lot
经常地 我们发现很难去信任一个话很多的人
but when a person is a good listener
但当一个人是一个好的倾听者时
we see her or him as someone who is patient and easy to trust.
我们认为他/她是很有耐心的并且是值得信任的
Well that’s why actively listening to others is another essential skill
这也是为什么 倾听他人是另一个基本的技能
which was not put in our goodie bags in the school.
而不是在学校炫耀自己
So how to develop this skill of listening to someone patiently?
那么怎样去培养耐心听别人讲话的这个技能呢?
Well this is pretty simple
这其实很简单
you should listen to the other person
你应该倾听其他人
like he or she is the most important person in the world at that time.
就像他在那个时候是世界上最重要的人一样
You should be fully attentive
你应该全身心投入
and you should not pass judgments about what they are saying
而不应该思考他们在说什么
and most importantly
最重要的是
don’t keep thinking about what you will say next.
不要考虑你接下来要说什么
These are the qualities of a good listener.
这是一个好的聆听者所具有的品质
So here you have your next guess,
好了 到了下一个猜想了
I hope you’re enjoying this
我希望你喜欢这个
“Today I am going to talk about my family,
今天我想谈谈我的家庭
I have five people in my family they are my parents and my family. ”
我们家有五个人 他们是我的父母和我的兄弟姐妹
“ They always fight with each other,
他们总是互相在闹矛盾
whenever I go home my brother never opens the door for me
我回家时我的兄弟总是不给我开门
so this is my family ,thank you so much.”
这就是我的家庭 谢谢大家
Do you know that almost 97% of all the communication that you make is nonverbal?
你知道吗 几乎你97%的交流都没用到肢体语言
Like you just saw this kid, he didn’t move his arms, she didn’t move his arms.
就像你刚刚看到的这个孩子 他没有移动过他的胳膊
So what I mean here is that when you’re communicating
所以我的意思是 当你和别人交谈时
with someone your body language is as important as what you speak .
你的肢体语言和你正在说的话是一样重要的
and this is one skill you must master.
而且这个技能你一定要掌握
so for having a good body language the first most important thing is ‘ smile ’.
想要用好肢体语言 首先最重要的是微笑
Smile at everyone from the bottom of your heart when you meet them.
当你遇见每个人时你应该发自内心的微笑
Next is ‘eye contact’
还有就是 眼神接触
look at the person in the eye when you speak to them
当你跟别人说话时 你应该看着别人的眼睛
so that they know that you are attentive and listening to them.
让他们知道你正在专注的听他们讲话
And lastly combine smiling with eye contact and a good firm handshake.
最后把微笑 眼神接触和一个坚定的握手结合起来
So this is how you can improve your body language with three very simple steps.
这就是你如何去提升肢体语言的三个简单方法啦
So here we saw some essential skills, yeah, lesson over… yippee!
好了 这就是一些基本的技能了 耶 课程结束啦
So here you saw some really useful, essential skills
好了 今天你已经学到了很多非常有用的和基本的技能了
like showing empathy, resolving conflict, asking great questions,
像展示同情 解决冲突 好好提问
listening to others and using your body language correctly.
聆听他人和正确使用身体语言之类的
So these are some of the skills that we missed learning in our schools
这些是我们在学校学不到的一些技能
and that’s why I’ve seen so many young adults who have just passed out from the school
并且那也是我看到很多刚毕业的年轻人
and they are absolutely clueless about the practical challenges
他们对现实的挑战毫无头绪
that the world is going to bring for them.
这些挑战是世界将会带给他们的
So for this very reason I’ve made this special session with you
所以这就是我已经为你们准备了这堂特殊的课的原因
so that you won’t face any trouble in your workplace or in your day-to-day dealings.
是为了帮你们避免在工作中和日常交往过程中 陷入困境
But I genuinely believe that some of you have been benefited by this
但是我真心相信你们已经学到了很多
and you will try to develop and cultivate these skills
并且你将努力去发展和培养这些技巧
in order to have a better hand at dealing with practical problems through practical solutions.
以便在遇到实际问题的时候有更好的处理
So thanks for staying with me till the end
所以谢谢你们听完我这堂课
and you’ll have a great time using these essential skills and the lesson is over, so bye-bye.
好好享受使用这些基本技能吧 课程结束啦 拜拜

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视频概述

日常生活中被学校忽视的几个为人处世的方法

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

Diana

审核员

审核员XY

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-ek3q6kcnc

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