Hi guys, welcome to the class,
we are back to school, yippee!
Are you wondering why are we in school today?
Well that’s because I saw you bunking some important lessons in school.
Yes and those lessons will be learned today.
I know, I know you were doing all naughty things that time
and that made you bunk some important lessons, I know.
Okay don’t over think guys, I know this is too much drama
好了 别多想了朋友们 我可能说的太戏剧性啦
but I think we should do some drama sometimes.
So we all know that school is the place where we gain the major chunk of our education,
but sadly there are certain essential skills that are not taught at schools
in this session today I’ve got for you five essential skills
like empathy, conflict resolving skills, asking questions, negotiating,
比如共情能力 处理冲突能力 提问技巧 谈判技巧
body language and listening skills that we were not taught in our schools by our teachers.
But these skills are extremely important for the real world
and by real world I mean the practical world where you need practical skills.
For example , skills to operate at your workplace, at your college or with your network of friends and colleagues.
比如 在你的公司里 大学里 或者是在你朋友圈和同事圈里运用的技巧
So as you already know you’re watching me on Skillopedia,
the place to learn skills for the real world and let’s get started, my name is Michelle.
一个学习真实世界中的技能的地方 那我们从现在开始吧 我叫Michelle
So here is a cheat sheet to the five essential skills
that your school missed teaching you and how you can cultivate these skills now.
Well the first skill for the day.
Why don’t you try and guess the name of the skill?
Okay, here you go,
“ She is always sitting in the corner, that’s why no one likes her,
even I don’t like her and I don’t know why she always sad, I won’t go and talk to her. ”
甚至我也不喜欢她 我也不知道她为什么总是那么忧伤 我不会走过去和她聊天”
Aha! This was harsh.
Could you guess which is this skill that our school hasn’t taught us?
Well ,this child did not show any empathy towards her classmate.
But what is empathy?
So empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person.
Basically it means to put yourself in someone’s shoe,
whether it fits you or not, but try to feel what they are feeling.
So this is one skill that we are not taught in our school.
Now the question is,
how to show empathy towards someone ,
and how to use it as a tool for building relationships?
So step one is,
‘ to be present for the person and hear their side of the story ’.
Step two is ‘ when you hear someone’s story,see it from their point of view,
第二步 当你听某人的故事时 要从他们的角度出发
do not judge what’s right or what’s wrong’.
Just listen to their emotions.
Step 3 ‘ask questions to understand them better,
give encouragement and offer to help if possible ’.
Okay now the second skill for you to guess,
here we go,
“ You broke my pencil. ” “ That’s because you didn’t return my eraser. ”
“I’m not gonna talk to you, you are so mean, go away. ”
“我不想和你说话了 你太刻薄了 走开”
Could you guess which skill is this?
Well,this is a bomb-disposal skill which we call as ‘conflict resolving’.
好的 这是一种拆除炸弹的技能 我们称它为 冲突解决技巧
So conflicts are so common in our lives just like you saw one now
and conflict is a serious argument or disagreement that you can have with someone over a matter.
Now conflicts aren’t avoidable, are they?
But resolving them is possible.
So this is another skill that is ignored in our school and that’s
why the person you had a disagreement with in grade eight,
almost became your enemy when you passed out from the school.
Okay, well that’s happened with me though.
Now the best way to resolve conflict is first, ‘respond but never react’.
解决冲突的最好方式是 首先 回应但不要行动
So responding to the situation means you keep emotions in control
and focus on the problem not the person.
Let’s say your colleague,
let’s say you found out that your colleague complained about your late coming to the boss.
Now here is a conflict.
You’re quite angry.
So the first thing is respond to it by coming on time
and don’t react by shouting on them.
So that’s the difference.
Second you should let the other person know that you want to come to an agreement,
so in this case you will talk to your colleague and resolve the matter
所以这种情况下 你将会和你的同事谈一谈 并解决问题
before it escalates or before it increases.
Third, clearly and quietly communicate what you want from the situation.
so here you could respectfully go to your colleague
and tell them not to interfere in your personal decisions
Now let’s guess the fourth skill
“ Yes ma’am I know that answer, I will answer to this question.”
“是的 女士 我知道答案 我要回答这个问题”
“ What do you ask me? ”
“ I know the answer. ”
We often say that in school
Well I never asked too many questions
because I didn’t know if the answers were right
so I think you must have got it now I’m talking about, ‘ asking questions ’.
Yes a good communicator is not somebody who has all the answers,
but someone who has good questions in order to keep the interaction going.
So a great way to ask good questions is to ask questions that could lead to interesting answers
因此 一个好的提问方式是 询问能够得出有趣答案的问题
To do that you should keep your questions open-ended
By that I mean you should ask questions that can not be answered yes
that cannot be answered with a simple yes or no.
But questions that require a detailed answer
and this will add spice to your conversations and keep your conversations going.
you could ask,
“ What are you planning to do immediately after your graduation? ”
Instead of saying, “ Are you graduating in April?
” Which would be usually answered as, “ Yes. ” Or, “No”
Okay, now here is for you to guess the next skill.
“Can you give me that cookie?”
“ Yes but It’s 400 bucks. ”
Okay but my mama gave me only 50. ”
“ Okay, take it for 50 but give me the rest tomorrow.”
那好吧 你今天给我50美元 明天再把剩下的给我
“ Okay this is such an expensive cookie, it must be delicious.”
好的 这盒饼干这么贵 一定很好吃
Oh. Do you think this child knows how to negotiate?
Well I think he doesn’t know.
Many people find negotiation as one of the hardest communication skills to learn.
Well they must be nice people.
I said that because negotiation is a skill
which is all about trying to gain personal interest by reaching to an agreement with the other party.
But this is also a necessary skill if you are involved in dealings every day
and the fact is that no one can avoid negotiating in life and work.
So whether you’re at a grocery store
or at office doing a business deal you will need to negotiate.
So let’s learn the technique to negotiate which wasn’t taught in our schools.
First step, ‘be assertive’,
which means you should be confident and stern about what you want
as if someone is ready to negotiate with you,
you have something they need.
So when you’re asking aim as high as you think is possible for them.
Second,‘you should have options’,
so if they don’t agree with your demands you should have other options to present.
Third, ‘show them how you’re looking for a win-win situation ’,
which means that you want both the parties to have enough benefit.
So here we are at the last skill for the day
have a hunch, I mean have a guess
预感一下 我是说 猜猜看
“She talks so much, she’s always blabbering,blah-blah-blah-blah-blah
她话太多了 总是在喋喋不休 巴拉巴拉巴拉巴拉巴拉
why do teachers talk so much? ”
You know what I got a new car and you know what, blah-blah-blah-blah-blah.
你知道我买了一辆新车 你知道的 巴拉巴拉巴拉
This is how kids are
When teachers are teaching they just can’t keep quiet
so it open happens we find it hard to trust somebody who talks a lot
but when a person is a good listener
we see her or him as someone who is patient and easy to trust.
Well that’s why actively listening to others is another essential skill
which was not put in our goodie bags in the school.
So how to develop this skill of listening to someone patiently?
Well this is pretty simple
you should listen to the other person
like he or she is the most important person in the world at that time.
You should be fully attentive
and you should not pass judgments about what they are saying
and most importantly
don’t keep thinking about what you will say next.
These are the qualities of a good listener.
So here you have your next guess,
I hope you’re enjoying this
“Today I am going to talk about my family,
I have five people in my family they are my parents and my family. ”
“ They always fight with each other,
whenever I go home my brother never opens the door for me
so this is my family ,thank you so much.”
Do you know that almost 97% of all the communication that you make is nonverbal?
Like you just saw this kid, he didn’t move his arms, she didn’t move his arms.
So what I mean here is that when you’re communicating
with someone your body language is as important as what you speak .
and this is one skill you must master.
so for having a good body language the first most important thing is ‘ smile ’.
Smile at everyone from the bottom of your heart when you meet them.
Next is ‘eye contact’
look at the person in the eye when you speak to them
so that they know that you are attentive and listening to them.
And lastly combine smiling with eye contact and a good firm handshake.
So this is how you can improve your body language with three very simple steps.
So here we saw some essential skills, yeah, lesson over… yippee!
好了 这就是一些基本的技能了 耶 课程结束啦
So here you saw some really useful, essential skills
like showing empathy, resolving conflict, asking great questions,
像展示同情 解决冲突 好好提问
listening to others and using your body language correctly.
So these are some of the skills that we missed learning in our schools
and that’s why I’ve seen so many young adults who have just passed out from the school
and they are absolutely clueless about the practical challenges
that the world is going to bring for them.
So for this very reason I’ve made this special session with you
so that you won’t face any trouble in your workplace or in your day-to-day dealings.
But I genuinely believe that some of you have been benefited by this
and you will try to develop and cultivate these skills
in order to have a better hand at dealing with practical problems through practical solutions.
So thanks for staying with me till the end
and you’ll have a great time using these essential skills and the lesson is over, so bye-bye.
好好享受使用这些基本技能吧 课程结束啦 拜拜
Hi guys, welcome to the class,