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五个给别人留下不好印象的措词

5 Common Phrases That Show You Lack Confidence

很不幸 有时候我们会说出一些
sometimes we all say things unfortunately
让别人对我们产生消极评价的话
that can make people judge us negatively
本视频中 我想谈论一些事情
and in this video I want to talk about things
一些给别人留下你缺乏自信的印象的言语
that make you come across as lacking in confidence
因为这些措词很傲慢
because these phrases are arrogant
而我们都知道 最傲慢的人
as you may know it’s the most arrogant people who
往往是最没有安全感的人
are oftentimes the most insecure
所以我会在视频中给出五个
so I’m gonna give you five phrases in this video
使别人对你留下不自信的印象的措词
that will make you come across as lacking in confidence
你应该避免这样说
and what you can say instead to not come across that way
第一句话是“很明显”
the first phrase is obviously
这句话的意思也很明显
also related to obviously is
就是不屑多说 或者我已经了解
oh that’s not hard to tell or I already knew that
当然你可以在生活中的某些领域说这个句子
now of course you can use these phrases in other areas of your life
但如果你发现
but if you find yourself saying this
你在别人告诉你一些他们认为
after someone has told you something
新奇的或者可以引起你的兴趣的事情之后再说这个词
that they thought was novel and interesting to you
基本上就表示你不理会他们说的话
you are essentially dismissing what they said
你等于在说他(她)的观点没什么新奇的 我早就知道了
you’re saying your perspective has nothing new to add I already knew that
这对我来说很明显嘛
it was so obvious to me
我这么聪明 在你告诉我之前就已经知道了
and I am so smart for having known this before you told me
那么在这种情况下你应该怎么做呢
now what should you do in the scenarios
当别人告诉你一些你已经知道的事情
where someone is telling you something that you already knew
你可以将你们都置于初学者的位置
you put yourself on the same path as them you are two learners
可以这样说
so you might say for instance
“哦 天啊 这个话题真有趣
oh my gosh that’s so interesting
我之前在一本书上还读到来着
I was just reading a book on the same topic
书上的内容和你讲的契合度很大”
and it was saying a lot of what you had to say
或者说“多奇妙啊
or you know what’s funny I studied this
我整个大学都在研究这个内容
in all throughout my college and my senior
毕业内容的选题和你说的角度非常相似”
thesis had a fairly similar angle to what you’re saying
这样的你就不会表现得像个优胜者
this way you are not putting yourself superior
不要把话说得好像你总是无所不知
not saying you know everything all the time
你只是在分享一些你学到的信息
you’re simply sharing when you learned the information
恰巧他们也想跟你分享
that they are sharing with you
有了这种思路 你就不再让别人觉得
and that way you’re not going to come across
你是个优越感爆棚的人
as thinking that you are superior to them
第二个词语是”你应该”
the second phrase is one that you might say or hear
也许你会在给出建议时说到或听到
when giving advice and it’s you should
“你应该减肥了”
you might hear you should lift weights
“你的事应该这样做”
like this you should do this with your business
“你应该辞职”
you should quit this job
“你应该”这句话会使别人感到很恼怒
and it can be particularly aggravating
因为你会认为说这话的人
because the phrase you should assumes that the person saying it
对你的生活了如指掌
knows all the details of your life
他知道你的目标
knows your goals and knows everything that you have tried to
知道你过去为达成目标所做的努力
achieve those goals in the past
所以如果你发现自己正在说“你应该”的时候
so if you find yourself saying
或者想给别人建议的时候
you should or wanting to give advice
我建议你加一个修饰语
what I recommend is adding a qualifier
在我看来 最好的修饰词是
and the best qualifier there’s lots boom you could say from my perspective
“如果我是你的话…” 以增加句子的不确定性
if I were you that’s then that was a little bit iffy
一般而言 说个“假如”对你来说是没有难度的
but generally speaking you want to just add the word if
所以你可以说 “你知道吗
so what you might do is say you know what
假如你的身体和我类似
if your body is similar to mine
那你应该试试这种特殊的锻炼方法
you should check out this particular kind of
或请教这个教练”
workout or this trainer
或者“如果你正在寻找一个
or you might say you know what if you’re looking for a
交通便利的地方方便去上班
place to get more traffic for your
我知道一个
business I’ve found this one to be
特别好的地方”
particularly useful
千万不要把自己视为无所不知的人
you’re not setting yourself up as some all-knowing person
你要就事论事
but you’re saying in relation to this goal
这是一个你可以实践的方法
this is one way that you might achieve it
这样说话显得不怎么傲慢
and it comes across as much less arrogant
第三个句子可能是这个列表中我最不喜欢的一个
the third phrase is probably my least favorite one on this entire list
就是“真正的”这个词
and it is the word real
尤其当人们说”一个真正的男人会这样做”
it’s when people say a real man would do this
“一个真正的女人会这样做”
a real woman would do this
“一个真正的美国人会这样做”
a real American would do this
或者说”真正的音乐听起来是这样”
or real music sounds like X
如果你发现自己也说这样的话
if you find yourself saying this
那么你疏远的人可能比你想象的要多得多
you are probably alienating far more people than you know
在一方面 这个词对于那些想融入的人来说非常有说服力
on the one hand yes it can be very persuasive to people who want to fit in
但同时这句话又非常刺耳
but at the same time it is so grating
因为你把自己的观点视为绝对正确的
because you are setting up your perspective as the one valid one
视其他观点为不真实的
and everything else of course is not real
所以这样的想法并不合理
therefore it’s not legitimate
所以如果你发现自己经常说“真正的”这个词
so if you find yourself saying the word real
就考虑把它从你的词典里删除吧
consider cutting it out of your vocabulary
至少在特定的语境下不要用它
at least in this particular context
第四句话我听到过很多
the fourth thing heard a lot of this
因为我在辩论上不太在行
because I’m doing breakdowns on debates
我一直在看乔丹·皮特森 山姆·哈里斯 本·夏皮罗等人的辩论
I was looking at the jordan peterson sam harris and ben shapiro stuff
这些人在我们的受挫折时经常会出现
which may come up soon in our break downs
但是我关注的是 在别人阐述自己的观点后
but one thing that I see is the phrase no but
你会反驳 “不是 而是”
after someone else has made a point
而许多人没有意识到这一点
and what a lot of people don’t realize is
即使我们当中最聪明的人在讨论时
even the most intellectual among us
也想获得情感上的确认
want to be emotionally validated when they’re having a discussion
而当你听到你不认同的观点时
and when you hear something and you disagree with it
你会立马说出两个词 “不是 而是”
and your first two words are no but
你在说
you are saying I have negated
我不同意你刚才说的一切
everything that you just said
这句话近似于语言攻击了
and it can feel personally almost like an attack
因为我们总是非常确认自己的观点
because oftentimes we’re very identified with the positions that we hold
所以如果你处于你的确不认可
so when you’re in a situation where you do hardcore disagree
别人的话的状况时
with what someone has said
你首先要找一些事例来证实对错
find a way first to validate something
或者至少改述他们的措词
or at least to rephrase what they have said
我从书中看到过一句克里斯·沃斯的话
and I got this from the book
永远不要将分歧扩大化
never split the difference by Chris Voss
他是FBI的一个非常风趣的谈判专家
he’s an FBI negotiator really really interesting
他这句话的意思是
but the phrase that he talks about
即使你完全不同意他人说的话
even if you completely disagree with what they’ve said is
“貌似”
it seems
或者“听起来”
or it sounds like
你就说 “你知道吗 这听起来就像我想做到的”
and you just say you know what it seems like what you’re trying to do
然后重申他们的内容
and you reiterate their argument
这听起来就好像
or it sounds like what you’re saying
你反复品味对方的观点
and you reiterate it
重申的过程中他们通常会温和地纠正你 或者回答”是的”
they will oftentimes correct you mildly or just say yes
然后你就可以继续摆出观点了
and from there you can move on
如果某人说你的观点不对
so if somebody’s telling at you that you haven’t the dishes
你可以说你也正苦恼于此
you could say you know what it seems like you’re upset
“我想表达我的观点
because I said that I was gonna do these
但很明显我的准备不充足”
and obviously the dishes haven’t gotten done yet
他们会说“对 确实”
and they go yes exactly
你就知道接下来怎么说了
you’re getting it you know okay
“好吧 我没意识到表达观点
I did not realize that I was going to have so much
需要做许多功课
work tonight when I had said that
看来我现在要去做足功课了
I still have a lot to do now
如果我明天上午弄清楚了再告诉你可以吗?”
would it be all right if I got to it tomorrow morning
如果你在一开始就用 “这听起来或看起来…”
that is going to be much more effective
去肯定他们的观点
if you have validated their concerns first with the phrase
会使你们的谈话更有效
it sounds like or it seems
所以把这个短语加到你的词典上吧
so add that to your arsenal
第五个措辞 我正在研究一些傲慢的名人
the fifth thing is one thing I found. I was researching arrogant
为了在这个视频里
celebrities in an attempt to find would
能准确定义傲慢这个词
really defined it for this video and one
我不是要挑格温妮丝·帕特洛的毛病
that came up was I don’t mean to pick on her but Gwyneth Paltrow.
人们对她很不满意的一句话是
And the phrase that really had upset people about her
她把自已的工作
was when she was comparing her job to
与职业妈妈做对比
working mothers and she said that
她说 “一个女演员在片场的工作
working on set as an actress is more difficult
比朝九晚五的办公室工作更难”
than having a nine-to-five office job.
我不评论这句话的对错
No comment on whether or not
我无论如何都无法成为一个妈妈
that is true I’ve never been a mom of
所以我不知道
any kind so I don’t know.
但这确实是非常普遍的谬论
But this is very very common human fallacy.
我们总是臆想我们的生活
We assume that our lives are much more difficult
定是比别人差的 因为我们
than someone else. Because we struggle
很难想象别人遇到的困难
to imagine the difficulties that other people have.
事实上 大部分的人都把自己隐藏得很好
In fact most people hide them so well.
所以如果你发现自己也说 “我的专业更难 更严格”
So if you find yourself saying that your major is more difficult
或者抱怨你的工作更有挑战性
or more rigorous or that your job is
或者待在家
is more challenge. Or the being a mom or
当一个全职爸爸或妈妈 无论什么工作
a dad stay at home work whatever it is
你都说比别人的更有挑战性 请停止这样说
is more challenging than someone else’s life. pause.
因为你将会给人留下不好的印象
Because you are about to come across just about as arrogant as you
认为你在生活中就是一个傲慢的人
ever have in your life.
首先要具备的心态是
First of mindset recognize that you do not
你不能理解别人面临的挑战
understand the challenges that other people face
所以你不能确切地说 哪一个是更难的
So you can’t say with certainty what is or
但是如果你确实想做一个比较
isn’t harder. But if you do want to make these sorts of comparisons
我建议 只在你的生活中比较
I recommend doing it within your own life and
只比较你确实经历过的工作
only the situations that you have actually lived.
所以 如果你既当过医生又当过会计师
So if you’ve been a doctor and an accountant
你也许会说 “我发现当会计师
you might say I’ve found that being an accountant
比当医生更难”
is harder than being a doctor
或者反过来说 但是如果
or vice versa.But if it’s something that
你能感觉到你认识的医生
you can sense the other person you know
他们听到你这么说就要走
they’re a doctor and they’re gonna go wait a second,
你可以补充道
you can add to that
“这是我个人的经验”
that’s my experience and of course
“当然 每个人都会有不同的感受”
everybody else is going to find it different.
对别人最侮辱的一句话是
One of the most insulting things you can say to someone
“你并没有努力”
is that they haven’t had struggle
因为他们知道他们是有多在乎自己的工作
because they know that they have so be careful of this one.
以上就是本视频的五个措词
those are the five phrases for this video.
如果你喜欢这个内容 我还有其它
if you guys like this, we have other phrases I
许多人想了解的短语
know a lot of people like to know this pecific things
那些在特定场合给人留下不好印象的措词
that make them come across in particular ways.
此外 如果你想查看
In addition to this,you would want to check out the guide that
我提及的Chris Voss指南 涉及永远不要把分歧扩大化
I mentioned from Chris Voss which has never split the difference.
今天你可以免费享受本视频的赞助商audible的优惠
And you can do so today for free courtesy of our sponsor for this video,
如果你去audible的slash charisma或者Tex charisma网站
audible.If you go to audible.com slash charisma or Tex charisma
提升500- 500点魅力值
to five hundred five hundred.
你可以免费体验30天audible网站
You can get a free audible visit your thirty days trial
我发现这很有用
of audible and I found this to be very very useful
如果你
if you’re the type of person
每天都要乘车 有很多家务要做
who has to commute every day ,who has a lot of chores to do in the house
也想找一些东西来听
and want something to listen to. Or
或者你要徒步旅行 走很长的路
who is maybe taking a hike or a long walk
但是也想在此过程中学习一些东西
and still wants to learn during that time period.
那么这本书会令你很感兴趣
now this book is going to be very very interesting for those of you
你会发现一些有用的短语
who have found these phrases useful.
因为它来自于FBI谈判专家的看法
Because it’s from an FBI negotiator,right.
他们是一些把受害者
this is someone who had to get people
从人质的处境中解脱出来的人 而不是使人质
out of hostage situations without having this person
在刀刃上冒险
who was on the edge flip.
他们可以在那样的情况下使用这些话语
So he can use it in those situations you can absolutely
而你也完全可以在生活中使用
use it in your own life.
如果你想免费查看
And if you want to check it out for free
就去audible网站slash charisma
just go to audible.com slash charisma or
或者text charisma提高魅力值到500- 500
or text charisma to five hundred five hundred
开始你30天的体验吧
to start your 30-day trial
我希望你们喜欢这段视频
I hope you guys have enjoyed this video
期待在下一个视频在看到你
look forward to seeing you in the next one
当然如果你有任何评论
of course if you have any comments
就直接写下来
go ahead write them the Bull Royal,aha, Bull Royal.
到目前都没有结巴 现在结巴了
made it so far without a stutter but here we go
大家注意身体 下次见
Take care guys I’ll see you in the nextone
[Music]
[Music]

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视频概述

在谈话过程中也许我们会因为措词不当而给别人留下傲慢,不自信的印象,这里给出了五个不恰当的措词帮助你改正。

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

Scarlett

审核员

审核员SX

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4R-3PPsM8HQ

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