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千万别买系列:可怕的闹钟

3 Weird Alarm Clocks | Never Buy This

如今我们用闹钟唤醒自己
– Today we wake up with drones.
来谈谈这个吧
– Let’s talk about that.
(播放主题音乐)
(playful theme music)
神话早安
Good mythical morning.
神秘的野兽们,环顾四周
– Mythical beasts, take a look around.
树木奄奄一息,鸟儿停止鸣叫
The trees are dying, the birds have stopped chirping,
你的小伙伴不再回复你的短信
your camp friends won’t return your texts.
没错,开学之日来了
That’s right, the time has come to go back to school.
回到学校,我们知道起床
– Back to school, and we know that waking up
在破晓时分,把你的大脑塞入
at the butt crack of dawn to cram your brain
无数你永远不用的知识
full of information that you’ll never use
在你的研究生生涯中看起来并没有用
in your postgraduate barista job seems futile,
但并非如此,我们每天在用我们的工程学位
but it’s not, we use our engineering degrees every day.
每天每天
– Every day, every day.
好的,你必须去上课,你没有选择
Okay, you gotta get to class, you don’t have a choice.
不要辍学,呆在学校里
Don’t drop out kids, stay in school.
但你该如何做呢
– But how are you gonna do that?
最有效的产品时间呢?
What’s the most effective product to use?
你需要有一个闹钟
– You gotta have an alarm clock,
或者你可以用你的手机
or you could just use your phone,
但让我们先忘了那个吧
but let’s just forget about that for a second,
你将要去用一个闹钟
and say you’re going to use an alarm clock.
你不想要一个老式的闹钟
You don’t wanna just get any old alarm clock,
你想要一个新的,最好的
you want to get the new, the best,
你想做出最明智的决定
you want to make the smartest decision,
我们将帮助你
and we’re here to help you.
现在到了
It’s time for
“千万别买”时间
– [Together] Never Buy This:
奇奇怪怪的闹钟集合
– [Rhett] Weird Alarm Clocks Edition.
首先,地震十分平常
– First up, earthquakes are a reality
对南加州来说,但现在你也能
in Southern California, but now you can practice
每天都被摇醒
being shaken awake every single day
通过声波炸弹闹钟和摇床器
with the sonic bomb alarm clock and bed shaker.
欢迎来到我们的实验卧室
Welcome to our experimental bedroom set.
Rheet并不每晚都睡在这里
Rhett doesn’t actually sleep here every night,
至少我不知道
at least I don’t know about it,
如果你确实如此,我也不想知道
and if you do, I don’t wanna know about it.
我很开心能睡在这样一个卧室
– I would love to sleep in a room like this.
好吧,我已经设置好声波炸弹闹钟了
– Okay, so I have set up the sonic bomb alarm clock
就在那里,谁不想体验一下
over there, ’cause who doesn’t want to experience
每一个早晨都有一个声波炸弹闹钟呢
a sonic bomb every morning of their lives.
现在我并不知道什么是声波炸弹闹钟
Now I don’t exactly know what a sonic bomb is,
希望能有一些闪光
except that there’s some flashing lights,
和一些很高的声音以及床摇晃着你
and a really loud sound, and your bed shakes baby.
问题是,它是如何工作的
Yeah, there is a, – How’s that work?
这里有一个隐藏的震动板
– There is a vibrational pad placed strategically
在垫子下面
under the mattress.
就像碟片一样
It’s like a disc.
你准备好体验一下了吗
Are you ready to experience a sonic bomb?
准备好了
– I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.
好的,去睡吧
– Alright, go to sleep.
(闹钟启动)
(alarm goes off)
我听到隆隆声那很响
– I hear a rumble. – It’s not subtle,
非常响
it’s not subtle.
它“哔哔哔”地叫
– So it beep, beep, beeps,
然后再隆隆地响
then it rumbles, rumbles, rumbles.
这唱片在哪里
– Where’s the disc at?
在那里
– It’s over there.
我要把我屁股放上去
– I’m gonna put my booty on it.
哦在这现在它已经很响了
Oh there it is. – Now it’s pretty loud.
现在有113分贝了
They say this is 113 decibels.
你就像一个骚痒的狗
You’re like a dog getting his itch spot.
快挠痒
Hit the itch spot.
我想你把它关了
– I think you cut it off Link.
我可以告诉你它有多响
– I can tell how loud it is,
但我不能描述震动有多强烈
but I can’t tell how intense the vibrations are.
多美妙啊
– It’s pretty nice.
这是用来按摩的吗
– Does it pass for a massage?
这会让你无法安睡
– It would be difficult to sleep through.
只要按一下红按钮
– Just hit the red button, hit the red button.
按红色的按钮!
Hit the red button!
你按了三次,是坏了吗
– You hit it three times, is that part of it?
这让你活动了你的左手,没坏
– Yeah, that wakes up your left arm, it’s part of it.
好吧,你感觉怎么样
Alright, how you feeling?
30次的震动会很有效的把你叫醒
For 30 bucks is this effective at getting you out of bed,
还是会让你继续去睡呢
or does it actually make you want to go back to sleep,
我们能否摆脱这个闹钟呢
like if we could rid of the alarm part of it?
好吧首先我要说,如果你结婚了
– Well first thing I’ll say is that when you’re married,
你会对闹钟有多响很敏感
you have to be sensitive about how loud your alarm is,
因为你不想打扰爱人
because you don’t want to disrupt the other person,
所以我的妻子应该会讨厌这个
so I think my wife would be upset about this.
但你不和她一起睡
– But you don’t sleep with her.
是的,我们分床睡
– Yeah, we sleep in separate beds.
但它确实让你不得不起床
But in terms of it actually making you have to get up,
去打这个闹钟,我希望只要一次
and hit this thing, I think it’s just once,
在我还很困的时候
I just think I was making bad contact.
我认为这是和其他闹钟不一样的地方
– That’s kind of what any alarm does, I’ll just point out,
震动的部分是我认为最有趣的地方
it’s the vibrational part that I found exciting,
就像地震
like an earthquake.
它确实不错,但我想有别的选择
– It did feel good, but I like to make choices
关于我的按摩,我不想被按摩叫醒
about my massages, I don’t like to be awoken by a massage,
但对屁股来说,这确实不错
but on the booty, it did feel good.
我已经准备好你会对这摇晃不感兴趣了
– I was ready for you to be underwhelmed by the shaking,
所以我觉得它还有别的用处
so I have an idea that is gonna expand the use
用这个产品,回去睡觉吧
of this product, go back to sleep.
(闹钟启动)
(alarms go off)
正如你所看到的,你不再被震动了
Now as you can see, you are no longer vibrating,
现在是装着你的布丁的被子在被震动
it’s that container containing your protein shake,
我增强了震动力量通过增加
I have doubled the vibrational power by adding
第二个闹钟,现在它在摇晃你的早饭
a second alarm, and it is shaking your breakfast.
我不确定它工作的怎么样
– I’m not sure how well it’s working.
给它一点时间
– Just give it a second.
好的,关掉它,我认为你的早饭好了
Okay, turn it off, I think your breakfast is done.
按动两个红色按钮
Hit both red buttons.
现在你可以吃早饭了,先生
Now enjoy your breakfast, sir.
我们已经把一个闹钟
We have just turned an alarm clock
变成了早饭制作器
into a breakfast making machine.
都不需要起床,在床上吃就行
Don’t even have to get out of bed, breakfast in bed, man.
这并没有很好的混合
– It’s not very mixed.
打住,这很好,朋友它很棒,它真棒
– Hold on, it’s good, it’s good dude, it’s great.
让我尝尝
Let me have it.
这真棒
It’s great.
我刚才吸进去了一点
– I just sniffed a little bit.
下次也需要多加点液体
– Might need to add more liquid next time.
好吧,所以结论是?
Okay, so what’s the verdict?
千万别买这个
– Never buy this.
你是否想过起来后闻到什么
Have you ever wanted to wake up smelling anything
除了你自己
other than yourself?
现在你可以用SPA芬芳闹钟
Now you can with the SpaRoom AromaTime
数字闹钟控制精油扩散器
digital alarm clock essential oil diffuser.
这款在亚马逊上售价29.99刀
This thing is $29.99 on Amazon.
这看起来像个未来烟灰缸
– [Link] It looks like a futuristic ashtray.
我不认为你需要把烟灰放进去
– Well I don’t think you need to put ashes in it,
但是你放进去什么确实很关键
but it is what you put in it that makes it potentially
价值29.99刀,因为它买一送一
worth that $29.99, because it’s a two-for-one, Link.
但听名字就像买七送一
Well it sounds like it’s a seven-for-one based on the name,
这个 Spa芬芳闹钟x7
the SpaRoom AromaTime blankity blankity blankity blankity
是一个芬芳精油扩散器
blankity thing, is an aroma, like an essential oil diffuser,
和一个闹钟
and an alarm clock,
已经可能是个烟灰缸,我不懂
and potentially an ashtray, I don’t know.
这里面有伊兰嘛
– Does it have ylang ylang in it?
那是谁
– Who’s she?
那是一种支持你起来的味道
– That’s the scent that’s supposed to wake you up.
我从来没听说过它或者她
– I’ve never heard of that, or her,
而且我也不懂那是什么
and I don’t know what it is,
但里面确实含有迷迭香薄荷精油
but it does have rosemary mint oil in there.
我要和一个扩散器一起睡觉了
– I go to sleep sometimes with a diffuser
那会花两小时进入睡眠
that’ll go like two hours into my sleep.
哦,那真棒
– Oh, that’s nice.
但我不理解它怎么叫醒我
– But I don’t understand why it would wake me up.
它让你感觉在一个spa房里
– It’s like being in a spa room.
嘿,现在是spa房的芬芳时刻
Hey, it’s aroma time in the spa room.
你为什么不睡觉
Why don’t you go to sleep,
有什么东西很好闻,我不想睡
– Something smells good, I better wake up.
现在你告诉我它让你感觉怎么样
– And then you tell me how it makes you feel
在你醒的时候
when you wake up.
(闹钟启动)
(alarm goes off)
早上好
– Well good morning.
哦,它在冒烟
Oh, it’s smoking.
把你鼻子凑到那个洞那里
– Stick your nose right on the hole.
这是什么,伊兰?
– What is that, ylang langy lang?
这是迷迭香薄荷,朋友
– It’s rosemary mint, man.
按动前面那个绿色的,左边,左边,就是那个
Hit the green thing on the front, left, left, that’s it.
就是这样,但它还在扩散
– That was it and it still diffuses as I’m going about
当我想照常赖床的时候
my morning routine of staying in bed
而且想出了什么也不做的借口
and coming up with excuses for not doing anything.
它让你感觉怎样
– How does this make you feel?
我感觉很放松,它看起来起到了反作用
– It makes me feel relaxed, it seems counterproductive
和闹钟的作用相反
to the point of an alarm clock.
你不想要在早上来一个芬芳时刻?
– You don’t like aroma time in the morning?
我想晚上来一个,我不喜欢早上有这个
– I like it at night, I don’t like it in the morning.
好吧,商家鼓励你添加
– Well the manufacturer encourages you to add
你自己的精油
your own essential oils.
所以我有一个大胆的想法
And so I decided to get a little creative with this,
因为我认为这并不强劲
’cause I thought that this might not be strong enough
对你来说,我认为那太放松了
for you, I thought that it might be too relaxing,
所以我在办公室附近找到了一些东西
so I found something laying around the office
现在我要把它们放进去了
that I’m gonna put in there right now.
你为什么不再去睡一觉
Why don’t you go to sleep again?
(闹钟启动)
(alarm goes off)
哦,早上好
– Oooh, good morning.
早你带了面具?
– Morning. – You got on a mask?
没错,因为我不想闻到那个
– Well yeah, ’cause I don’t wanna smell this.
啊,为什么?
– Ugh, what?
把那气味扇向你自己,我发现它就躺在那里
– Waft it, waft it to you, I found it lying around here.
啊,那是什么,这是尿,你往里面尿尿了?
– Gah, what is it, it’s pee, you peed in there?
我的天,你往扩散器里尿尿了
God, you peed in the diffuser.
我让一头鹿尿了进去
– I got a buck to pee in there.
那是鹿尿,还是个雄性的
It’s buck urine Link, that’s a male deer.
这很有用,这会人让起床的
– This works, this will get a man out of bed,
因为太臭了
’cause that stanks.
哦那真臭
Oh that stinks.
我该怎么关,哪个是开关
How do I turn it off, what’s the button?
你按到了
You push the button.
不,我没有按任何按钮
– No, I’m not touching that thing.
你把绿色按钮拨向远端
You want to hit the green button on the far side.
现在,它最大的优点就是能
Now the great thing about this Link is it will
把任何东西赶到院子里
bring all the does to the yard,
所以你也会有一个野外体验
so you’ll get a wildlife experience, too,
就像你打开窗户
like you open up your window.
所以结论是?
So what’s the verdict?
千万别买这个
– Never buy this.
你有想过体验生活
Have you ever wanted to experience the life
作为一个嗜睡的空管员
of a narcoleptic air traffic controller?
现在你可以了,这款西北飞行闹钟
Now you can, introducing the Northwest flying alarm clock.
没错Rhett,只要11.19刀你就能拥有它
That’s right Rhett, for $11.19 you can have
你专属的飞行闹钟,就在那里
your very own flying alarm clock, there it is right there.
哦,我很喜欢这个
– Oooh, I’m excited about this.
现在我要毁灭你的期待
– Now I just want to set your expectations,
这个闹钟整体不会飞,只有上面那个部分会
the whole thing doesn’t fly, only the top part flies.
而且买家评论不好,我们只好买了
And the reviews are kinda low, we had to buy four
四个闹钟来保证有一个能工作
of these in order to get one of ’em to work.
整体不会飞?
– The whole thing doesn’t fly?
只有顶部的那个,朋友
– Just the top flies, man.
我希望看见它整个都飞起来
– I wanted to see I go.
但唯一关掉闹钟的方法
– But the only way you can stop the alarm
就是放回飞行的部分
is by seating the flying portion,
我将其称之为直升机归位
I’ll call it the helicopter back on its base.
你理解吗
Do you understand?

– No.
你说你不理解是什么意思
– What do you mean you don’t understand?
是的,把它放回去
– Yeah, put it back on there.
好的,去睡觉
– Okay, go to sleep.
(闹钟启动)
(alarm goes off)
它来了,看好看好
– Here it is, watch, watch.
哦它飞起来了,抓住它
Oh there it is, catch it.
哦,你抓到了
Oh, you caught it!
我赢了啥
– What do I win?
我赢了啥
What do I win?
你能够停下闹钟了
– Being able to turn your alarm off.
然后把直升机放回去
So seat the helicopter back on there.
用力
Push it.
哦天呐,它没停,是不是坏了
Oh goodness, it’s not stopping, don’t break it.
哦这比我想的要艰难
– Oh that was harder than I thought it would be.
好的你成功了
– So there it is man.
嘿,看你敏捷的身手
Hey, your catlike reflexes–
是是是,我都不懂我准备的那么充分
– Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don’t know if I’d be that ready.
那真迅捷但这会是
– That nimble. – But that would be
每天早上一个艰巨的挑战,你能抓住吗
a cool challenge every morning, can you catch it?
如果抓不住,它会吸引宠物的眼球
– And if you don’t, it’ll put out the eye of a pet.
尽管我很希望这整个都能飞
– I really want the whole thing to move, though.
事实上它就是个飞行器,一个直升机
The fact that it’s just a propell–, it’s a helicopter.
是的,那有啥有趣的
Yeah, what’s the fun in that,
你又不能坐上去
you can’t travel in that.
这很便宜,我肯定你刚才做的那样会弄坏它的
– It’s cheap, you broke it just by doing that, I’m sure.
是的,那很令人难忘
Yeah, this was a little underwhelming,
所以我动脑开发了一个产品
so I have applied some brainpower to develop a product
毫不夸张的说那会让这东西达到一个顶峰
that is gonna take this whole thing up a notch, literally.
去睡吧
Go to sleep.
(Chase发出闹钟声)
(Chase makes alarm sounds)
(无人机引擎启动)
(drone engine runs)
看那个,早上好Rhett,你的被子呢
Look at that, good morning Rhett, where’s your sheet?
你甚至不需要把被子掀开
You didn’t even have to take your sheet off,
因为闹钟为你做到了
because the alarm clock did it for you.
所以为什么Chase在这里
– Now why is Chase here?
他是你闹钟组成里的一部分
– He’s the part of the alarm clock that you program.
你告诉他,他现在住这里了,或者住你家
You tell him, he lives here now, or in your house,
你付他工资,我不知道
you pay him by the day, or I don’t know,
我们要解决这个,然后你告诉他
we need to work that out, and then you tell him
当你什么时候想起床,然后他哔哔哔
when you wanna wake up, and then he beep, beep, beeps,
然后他驾驶着无人机,我不会开无人机
and he pilots the drone, I’m not gonna pilot a drone.
谢谢你
– Thank you.
我不知道该怎么做
– I don’t know how to do that.
现在我醒了,当然我一直醒着
– Well I am awake, of course I was awake before,
但这很有趣,我喜欢Chase
but it was fun, and I like Chase.
你知道你是什么
– You know what else you are?
我不知道,我想每天早上看见他
– I don’t know I wanna see him every morning.
你没被掩盖,你不需要做那个
– You’re not covered up, you didn’t have to do that.
这就像摩登家族,而且我在研究
This is like The Jetsons man, and I’m working on
一个能脱掉你的衣服,然后
one that takes your clothes off, and then,
Chase会也帮我洗澡吗
– Is Chase gonna shower me, too?
会的
– Showers you.
我们要好好谈谈
– We should talk about that.
我的意思是,我没兴趣
I mean, I’m not interested,
我们应该谈谈不去做那个
we should talk about not doing it.
所以对这个的结论是啥
– So what’s the verdict with that guy?
千万别买这个,但可以考虑买Chase和无人机
– Never buy this, but potentially buy Chase and a drone.
感谢你们的点赞,评论和订阅
– Thank you for liking, commenting, and subscribing.
你知道现在是什么时间
– You know what time it is.
嘿,我是Alex
– Hey, I’m Alex.
我是Michelle
– And this is Michelle.
我们在火山上,现在是
– And we’re in the Smoky Mountains, and it’s time to
转动神话车轮的时候了
– [Together] Spin The Wheel of Mythicality.
现在你不需要买那些闹钟
– Now that you’re not gonna buy those alarm clocks,
看看你省下来的钱,你应该
look at all the money you saved, you should go over
去神话商城,选一个好的神话马克杯
to mythical.store, and pick up a good mythical mug,
买下着两样东西
collect all two.
这里有各种神话服饰
– There’s all types of mythical stuff there,
袜子,衬衫,哦,你会惊讶的
socks, shirts, oh, you’ll be surprised.
点击去了解更多关于Good Mythical
Click through to Good Mythical More,
因为我们有一个梦幻的解释会议
because we are gonna have a dream interpretation session.
评论接受,这是当我们给你展示一个
– Comment Takeover, this is when we send you
未公开的影片时
to a relatively undiscovered video,
有你的评论在上面
and have you comment on it.
我们将发送给你
We’re gonna send you over to
会唱歌的法国小牛小狗带你入睡
Singing French Bull Puppy to Sleep.
(女生轻唱)
(girl sings softly)
我们想建议其他的歌给她来对小狗唱
We want to suggest other songs for her to sing to the puppy.
不要吝啬,尽你所能
Be your mythical best, don’t be mean,
别告诉她我们发送了
and don’t tell ’em we sent ya.
感谢点击订阅
Thanks for clicking subscribe.
点击左侧来观看
– [Link] Click on the left to watch
接下来的节目Good Mythical More
the show after the show, Good Mythical More.
点击右侧来观看
– [Rhett] Click on the right to watch
本期节目的花絮
another episode of Good Mythical Morning.
同时记得看看我们的其他频道
– [Link] And be sure to check out our other channel,
这里是Mythical,点击底部的视频
This Is Mythical, by clicking the video on the bottom.
谢谢你们的支持
– [Rhett] Thanks for being your mythical best.

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译制信息
视频概述

介绍多款非常不实用的闹钟,并亲身参与测评

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

后来

审核员

译学馆审核员N

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=To2L5aNAmfk

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