Improvement Pill here.
Welcome to lesson 5 of the BeeFriend course.
In our previous lesson, we talked about the concept of value
and how you can increase your overall worth.
I suggest you watch that video, if you haven’t already,
using the link in the description box below.
In today’s lesson, we’re gonna start a conversation on body language.
Body language is one of the most important things
you should learn about and improve on
in order to increase how likeable you are
and also how easily you befriend people.
And there are 3 major reasons as to why this is.
Please please, watch this video to the very end,
because it is crucial that you understand exactly
why we need to place so much emphasis on body language.
So let’s jump right into it.
The first reason body language is so important is because
it’s your main calibration tool.
It’s the most effective way for you to adjust yourself during a conversation.
What I mean by this?
Well, every single person has certain likes and dislikes,
things that they really enjoy talking about,
and things that they hate to talk about,
things they find really funny,
and things that they consider to be really really offensive.
In order to befriend someone, you have to be able to tell what they like,
so you can keep talking about those subjects
or making those types of jokes,
but at the same time, you also have to have to be able to tell what they dislike,
so you can avoid those topics or styles of humor.
And the best way to figure all these out
is by observing how they respond with their body language.
Let’s say for example you meet a girl,
we’ll just call her Stacy, at a party.
You introduce yourself, and you decide to ask her about her job.
That’s one of the most common things people talk about.
However, unbeknownest to you,
Stacy just got fired from her job.
So the moment you ask her about what sort of work she does,
you notice that her body language changes.
It goes from open to closed.
See when people are forced to talk about things that make them uncomfortable,
this will show in their body language.
Certain changes like the crossing of their arms
or quick frown on their face
tell you that maybe talking about Stacy’s career
isn’t the best thing to do right now.
There’s a time and place for touchy subjects like that,
but it definitely should not be when you first meet someone.
Because remember the golden rule of friendship
which we covered in the previous lesson,
which I’ll link to at the top right of this video:
If you want to befriend people,
you have to make them feel good.
And one of the best ways to do this is
by being able to hold the conversation that they enjoy.
If you force Stacy to talk about how she got fired,
she’s not gonna feel good talking about it.
She’s gonna feel angry or shameful,
and she is going to associate those bad feelings with you.
By paying closer attention to someone’s body language,
you can steer the conversation in a way
that can lead to good emotions.
When you notice that Stacy’s body language changes at the mention of jobs,
you can quickly change the topic
and talk about something more fun,
like… her favourite TV show.
And this is crucial,
especially when you’re getting to know someone for the first time.
Reason No.2 for paying closer attention to body language is that
it drastically increases your ability to empathize with the person you’re talking to.
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.
Again the golden rule of friendship states that
in order to befriend someone you have to make them feel good.
And one of the best ways to do so
is by showing them that you genuinely care about them
that you’re paying close attention to how they currently feel.
Now our brains have a special type of neuron
called the mirror neuron.
As the name suggests, they mirror back what they see.
For example, if you watch someone throw a ball,
these neurons will light up as if you were the one throwing the ball.
And this allows us to copy their actions.
These mirror neurons are the reason
why babies are often seen imitating their parents.
They’re primarily used as a way for us to learn
but they’re also used for empathy.
When you pay close attention to someone’s face
and their body language during a conversation,
your mirror neurons will start to fire off.
If they frown for a split second,
your brain will catch that and play it back in your head.
This will give you a very clear idea
of exactly what the other person is feeling
because it’ll cause you to feel some of it too.
If someone is excited, you will feel some of their excitement.
If someone is angry you’ll feel some of their anger.
If someone is in pain, you will feel a bit of that pain as well.
Now, this may sound like a bad thing,
but when they see that you’re feeling some of their pain with them,
that’s when they will feel like you genuinely care about them.
Why is this so powerful?
Well, if you think back to most of the interactions you’ve had in the past.
you’ll start to notice that it’s actually quite rare
for someone to genuinely care about you,
to be completely present,
not on their phone, not thinking about what to say next,
not daydreaming about something completely unrelated
and to have their entire focus
on trying to understand how you currently feel.
Most of the time, the only people who paid that close attention to our body language
are our loved ones like our parents, our siblings, our boyfriends or girlfriends,
只有那些爱我们的人 像父母 兄弟姐妹 伴侣
and we treasure those interactions so much,
because the fact that they are listening so intently
makes us feel loved, noticed and cared for.
When you learn about body language
and you start paying attention to it more,
you will find yourself being more and more present and
empathetic with the person in front of you.
And this will create interactions that they will treasure
and remember for a long long time.
And finally Reason No. 3 for paying close attention to body language,
in this case, your own body language,
is that you can control how others see you.
We learned in Lesson 2 about the tiers of friendship
which I’ll link to in the top right of the video
and how, when people initially meet someone,
they put them into the neutral tier.
Now, depending on what sort of body language is shown
in the brief five seconds that you are in this tier,
they will determine whether or not you are potential friend or potential foe.
So it’s important to have the right body language.
Body language also plays a huge role in determining your value.
We’ve mentioned this in our previous lesson
where people will often look at your demeanor,
the way you move, the way you stand
and the way you talk to determine how valuable you are.
By understanding body language,
you will know what to do with your body
to come off as a more confident looking and valuable person.
This will make it much much easier for you to befriend people
because people will think that you are someone of importance.
They will want to become your friend
without you even having to try.
On the other hand, if you don’t pay attention to your body language
and you portray signs of weakness and low value,
people will try and avoid you.
It will seem as if there’s no benefit to talking to you.
I’m gonna show you exactly what to do with your body
to portray high levels of confidence and value
later on in the BeeFriend course.
And these are the three reasons
why we’re gonna place so much emphasis on body language
in our upcoming lessons.
Now in our next lesson I’m gonna show you
the three most powerful body language signs you need to use
in order to make a strong first impression.
These three signs will make you come off as
an extremely approachable and friendly person
which will make it significantly easier for you
to start conversations with people.
You will automatically get sorted into the friends tier if you use all three.
This is a super important lesson,
so make sure you subscribe and hit the bell icon,
so you don’t miss it.
For those of you that are interested in additional programs
and courses that I will release in the future,
please sign up for my mailing list
using the link in the description box below.
Besides that guys, stay tuned.
Improvement Pill here.