无论你是否意识到
Whether you realize it or not,
你每一个行动都是由你的想法决定的
every action that you take is generated by your mindset.
这些行为组成了
And those actions add up to
给你拥有的生活
give you the life that you have
这就是为什么 在这个视频里
which is why, in this video,
我们将要涉及三个反直觉的习惯
we’re going to cover three counter-intuitive mindsets
用来改变你的生活 这个方法来自蒂姆费里斯
for changing your life and this comes straight from Tim Ferris
我是他的超级粉
whom I’m a huge fan
我要告诉你的是 我是如何用这种方法去改变我的生活的
of and I’m going to tell you how I used these to change my life.
在我们开始之前 还有一件小事
But before we get into it, one little thing,
在结尾逗留一会 因为我们
stick around to the end because we
正在《管理的魅力》招人
are making a hire at Charisma on Command;
我将要告诉你
I’m going to tell you
如何通过介绍人过来赚钱
about that and how you can make some money for referring that person.
让我们开始吧
Let’s just jump into it.
第一个习惯是提问荒谬的问题
The first mindset is to ask ridiculous questions.
这就是蒂姆曾经说过的
Here’s what Tim has to say about it.
我发现在所有的行业领域
I find that levels
成功的标准都和一个人为了伟大的问题相关
of success in almost any industry or area correlate to a person asking great questions.
在一些例子中 他们看起来是荒诞的
In some cases, they seem absurd.
实际上 在某种特征上 在某种程度的
In fact, the hallmark, in a way,
伟大问题是现在听起来完全是荒诞的
of great questions is that it sounds completely ridiculous. Now,
《领导的魅力》事实上始于
Charisma on Command actually started
我问自己一个完全荒诞的的问题
with me asking myself a completely absurd question
这就是 如果…… 我将会怎么做……
which was,” What would I do if
如果我明天醒来 有一亿
I woke up tomorrow morning with a one hundred
美元在我的银行账户里 现在
million dollars in my bank account?” Now,
明显地
obviously,
这没有发生 但是它完全改变了我人生走向
this wasn’t going to happen but it completely shifted how I approached my life.
你看 我现在是一个咨询师
You see, at that time, I was working as a consultant;
我并不是全身心热爱它
I wasn’t completely in love with it
我正在寻找其他出路
and I was looking for other avenues.
在此时 我正在想 我会获得一份什么样的工作
And at this time, I was just thinking,”Well, what jobs can I get? What sort of
我可以做哪些判断 或许
diagonal moves can I make to maybe make
赚一些钱 并且做一些不同寻常的事
a bit more money and do something a bit different?”
但当我问我自己
But when I asked myself,
如果我有一亿美元我将会怎样做
” What would I do if I had a hundred million dollars?
金钱不是目标 这改变了每一件事
Money’s no object,” that changed everything.
突然 我不想要获得一份工作
All of a sudden, I didn’t want to get a job.
我想去巴西
I wanted to go to Brazil,
我想在海边生活
I wanted to live on the beach,
我想和朋友一起度过时光
I wanted to spend time with my friends,
我想每天学习新的东西
I wanted to learn something new every day,
我想去找到某种方式去教别人
and I wanted to find a way to teach other people.
大概
And it was about a year
我第一次提出那个问题 一年后我搭上了飞机
from first asking that question to when I was on an airplane
去巴西
on the way to Brazil
与六个好朋友运行《管理的魅力》
with six of my closest friends to run Charisma on Command.
这些问题非常有力 但是
So these questions are powerful but
你必须对这些问题充满热情
you have to get crazy with them
因为这些打破了你固有僵化的思考方式
because that breaks you out of the old stuck ways of thinking.
对商业来说 这对你的职业生涯非常重要
So for business, that one is great — your career.
如果我有一亿美元我将会怎么做
“What would I do if I had a hundred million dollars?”
它不是立马开始这个事情
It’s not about jumping right into that thing;
而是围绕你的梦想来确定你的方向
it’s about orienting your actions around your dream.
对人际关系来说 你能问你自己
For relationships, you can ask yourself,” What
什么样的人我将会喜欢与他在一起 如果
kind of person would I want to be with if
我知道我能吸引任何人
I knew that I could attract anyone?”
我经常看到男人和女人就是那种
I see oftentimes that both men and women will just kind
他们选择的第一个男朋友或女朋友
of take the first boyfriend or girlfriend that they can get
或者为某人留下来 他们却无动于衷
or settle for someone that they’re not crazy
因为他们不认为
about because they don’t think that they
他们可能
don’t think that they can have that kind
和自己真正梦想的有任何联系
of connection that they truly might dream of.
因此如果你问自己这些导向性的问题
So if you ask yourself of these orienting questions,
你将会从你的生活获得更多
you’re going to get more from your life
它将我们带到第二件事
which brings us to this second
它对我来说是件大事
piece which is something that was huge for me
它实际上是反直觉的
and is actually very counter-intuitive to
对实践积极心理学的人说
the people who practice positive psychology,
我也算那一类
and I count myself amongst that group, and it’s to define,
定义非常清晰 但最糟糕的情景是
very clearly, the worst case scenario
从追求梦想 从第一个问题带出来的
from pursuing the dream that comes out of that first question.
蒂姆 费里斯实际谈到这么做的力量
And Tim Ferris actually talks about the power
在下一集中
of doing this in this next clip.
我能跟踪所有
And I can trace all
我最大的胜利和我所有避免的最大的灾难
of my biggest wins and all my biggest disasters averted
回去每季做恐惧设置
back to doing fear-setting at least once a quarter. Now,
这个恐惧设置是一些东西
this exercise of fear-setting is something that
蒂姆在TED演讲中做了深入的讲解
Tim covers very deeply in his TED Talk;
我会在下面有链接
I’ll link to that below.
以下是基础的要点
Here’s the basic gist of it.
你获得三个部分 你定义你的恐惧
You got three parts — you define your fears,
你谈论它
you talk about
怎样避免 你能做些什么去弥补
how to prevent them, and then what you could do to repair them.
所以以我准备去巴西的想法举例
So take my idea of going to Brazil.
几乎总是这样 当你拥有
Almost always, when you have
梦想时 你不会为他做准备
dream and you’re not going for it,
这里是一个真正无形的恐惧阻止你向前
there’s this really amorphous fear that is holding you back.
在我的例子中 它是
And in my case, it was — if
如果我去巴西 这个事情
I went to Brazil and this business doesn’t
不会行得通 我的生活结束了
work out, my life’s over.
你认识到在其中 当你必须写下它时
In which you’ll realize, when you have to write it down,
你的生活并没有真正结束
is that your life isn’t actually over.
在我的例子中发生了什么 好的
And what happened in my case is, okay,
我不能负担的起租金 这将太痛苦了
I couldn’t afford rent — that would really sting;
我必须向我认识的人乞求让我有个睡觉的地方
I’d have to beg someone that I knew to let me sleep
在他们的沙发上睡 我必须节省
on their couch, I’d have to save
下我最后剩下的钱飞回家以及
the last of my money to fly back home and
也许去我父母的房子中 这真的太尴尬了
maybe go to my parents’ house which is really embarassing
但我不想被饿死
but I wasn’t going to starve to death.
这是一些东西我
And this is something I’m
非常幸运拥有 但是
very fortunate to have in my life but
我假设了许多
I assume a lot
人或事将阻止他们
of people watching have someone or something that would prevent them
从夸张地露宿街头或者实际饥饿致死
from literally sleeping outside or from actually starving to death.
所以最坏的例子饥饿致死实际并不存在
So the worst case scenario of death isn’t on the table, realistically.
第二步是 我怎么样去阻止它
The second step then is — how can I prevent this thing?
我写道： 我的天啊 即使生意失败 还有这么多的方法不至于把钱败光
And I wrote down,”Oh, my gosh. There’s all these waysthat I couldn’t run out of money even if the business fails.”
我的意思是 一我能在商业上非常努力的工作 但是 二
I mean, one, I could work really hard on a business but, two,
我能出去 沿街卖艺
I could go outside and busk
弹吉他或者我能短租我的房子
and play the guitar or I could Airbnb
收一些租金
my room — I could take some rent,
在沙发上睡几个星期 甚至几个月
sleep on the couch for a couple of weeks, months,
它将带走什么 然后
or whatever it took and then
我能在食物上和租金上花费它
I could spend that on food and rent.
我能当家庭教师
I could tutor.
以前 我SAT考很高分 我志愿教小孩子
I was pretty good on the SATs; I could volunteer to tutor kids. Now,
修正部分 如果一切都失败了 我认为 最糟糕的情况是
the repair part — if it all fell apart — I thought,”You know what? Worst case
是我存了足够的钱
scenario is I save enough money,
我获得一个返回的航班 我给老板打电话
I get a flight back, I call up my boss,
我乞求获得我原来的工作
and I beg him to get my old job back at,
降低25%到50%的工资也行
like, 25 or 50 % discount just
我能东山再起
so I could get back on my feet,”
我想他会那样做的
and I had to imagine that he would take that.
如果不行 哪怕去卖汉堡我也能活下来
If not, I’d be flipping burgers and I would survive.
这要点是
The point is
最糟糕的情况也可以测量可以处理
— the downside is measurable and I could handle it
但是去巴西生活这一令人向往的一面
but the upside of going to Brazil and living
和我的朋友 开始这项我热爱的事业
with my friends and starting this business
它如此鼓舞人就像蒂姆上面说的一样
that I love was so inspiring so as Tim puts it,
我正在不断追求向往的这一边
I was looking at an upside
如果给他打分 就像8 9 10
if it worked like 8, 9, or 10 and
低谷时低到-3 -4
a very temporary downside of a -3 or -4 if things
只要不要将我推倒在危险的边缘就行
didn’t work out which pushed me over the edge.
所以当你问你自己这个问题
So when you ask yourself the questions
从1开始 还是些荒谬的问题
from number 1 with the absurd questions,
应用恐惧设定在上面 如果你想要一个详细的解释
apply fear-setting to it and if you want a longer explanation,
去看ted演讲
check out the TED Talk.
第三个习惯也是
The third mindset which is also
反直觉的 尤其是在我们的文化中
very counter-intuitive especially amongst our culture
现在 都是关于奔忙 去做 在任何地方以及
nowadays which is all about #Hustle, #DoIT, #BeEverywhere and it’s
在入睡之前 设立一个你明天将要完成的任务
before you go to bed, set one thing that if you accomplish tomorrow,
将会在一整天中获得胜利
would make the entire day a win.
这是蒂姆谈论他自己
Here is Tim talking about it himself. …
另一种方式来说
in other words,
如果我有十件事情在待办列表中或者十个潜在的项目
if I have ten things on my to-do list or ten potential projects
我能追求 在这种情况下做什么
I could pursue, what to do in that situation?
我问我自己的是
And what I ask myself if is,
这些中的哪一个 如果做了会让剩下的没那么重要或更轻松
“Which one of these, if done, will make the rest irrelevant or easier?”
这是我一直问的一个关键的问题
This is a key question I ask all the time.
无论你的目标是什么
No matter what your goal is,
真相是在任何所给予的时间 你可能
the truth is that in any given time, you could probably
做很多事情去接近你的目标 但是
be doing a million things to take you closer but
真正让你成功的
it’s only one or two things that are really,
往往是一两件事情
really going to make strive
其余事都是对目标的一个分散
towards hitting that goal and everything else is a distraction.
我们隐隐都知道这些 但是我们隐藏起来并保持忙碌
And we know this implicitly but we hide and stay busy
因为那一两件事情
because those one or two things
经常让人非常不舒服
are often very uncomfortable.
在我的事业中
So in my business,
这些事情非常简单 我会浪费一整天
it would be very easy and I’ve wasted an entire days
反复地回复邮件
replying to emails back and forth,
回复评论 我热爱它
getting in there in the comments, and I love it
它很有趣也很吸引人 但我知道内里深层
and it’s fun and it’s engaging but I know,
最有价值的事情
deep down, the most valuable thing
我能做的是去做一个视频
I could be doing is to create a
我要想办法 尽量不要整整一周都去做它
video and I would find ways to avoid doing it all week
这就是为什么今天
which is why, today,
我昨晚就做好了 我在上床睡觉前写下来
and I did this last night, I wrote before I went to bed
你明天需要做的事情就是去拍摄这个视频
the one thing you need to do tomorrow is to film this video.
在这之前 要去想出
Prior to that, it was to come up
我准备涉及的一个主题
with a topic that I was going to cover.
我意识到甚至
And I realized that even
尽管只需要花费一点时间去拍摄这个视频
though this might take just a little bit of time to shoot this video,
它是最有价值的一件事
it’s the most valuable thing
这对你的生活来说也是如此
that I could be doing and this is true to your life as well.
我发现人们忙忙碌碌 他们可以说 我没有时间 我什么也不能做
I see people fill up their time so that they go,”I have no time; I can’t do anything,”
这是潜意识分散去避免困难的事情
and that is a subconscious distraction to avoid doing the hard thing.
因此举个例子 在事业中 问你自己 你的职业生涯 什么样的一件事
So for instance, in business, ask yourself — your career —”What’s one thing
如果今天做了将会使
that if I just do today, would make the
一整天都是成功的 就像如果我完成它回家
entire day a win like if I went home after it,
一样也是胜利 有时
it would still be a win?” Sometimes,
这奇怪的事情就是 比如要求晋升
that’s weird things like asking for a raise…
或者是你还没谈恋爱的话
Just a heads-up, when it comes to relationships,
指的就是勇敢抬起头来去表白
if you’re not in a relationship,
我看到很多
I see a lot
人们真的忙于自我提高
of people who make themselves really busy with self-improvement,
去体育馆锻炼 穿衣打扮 理发
going to the gym, clothes, haircut,
让每一部分井然有序
and getting all the pieces in order,
如果你说 你今天能做的哪一件事将会让你更接近你想要的那种关系 时常地
if you said,”What’s the one thing you could do todayto get closer to the type of relationship that you want?” oftentimes,
人们都不敢约别人出去
they’re avoiding asking that person out.
如果他们试着让他们自己
If they’re trying to make themselves
为那个她变得更好 那就去邀请他们外出
better for her, just go ask them out.
所以如果它是今天尚早 或者如果今天比较晚了
So if it’s early, today — or if it’s late,
就明天 写下来一件事
for tomorrow — write down one thing and
或一个关键的目标
one key project that if you just do tomorrow,
一整天将会获得胜利感
the entire day will be a win in that area,
你做这个 那将会
you do this for a day which will
三或四后天见到结果
take about three or four days to really see massive results
这就是就是我如何运作我的事业以及
and it’s how I run business and it’s
我实际怎样不去花大量的时间完成
how I don’t actually spend a ton of time to get
真正有价值的事情
the really valuable things done.
所以这就是
So that’s it
的一种习惯 我想去回顾
for the mindsets and I want to touch back
第三个习惯是 我需要
on the third one which is — I need
制作更多的视频 这就是为什么我们
to be making more videos which is why we
正在为管理的魅力节目招人
are hiring at Charisma on Command.
我和本已经开始开展了数字营销方面的事情
Me and Ben have been running the digital marketing side of things;
运行正常
it’s been going meh,
它并不是我的特长
okay — it’s not my skill set
也不是他的 所以我们正在寻找某个人
and it’s not his so we’re looking for someone
来做我们的数字化营销经理
who can be that kind of digital marketing manager for us.
他需要有运营经验
This is someone who ran operations
熟悉数字营销
before who’s familiar with digital marketing
他可能在一家差不多的
and who’s probably worked
公司任职
at a company that’s a seven or eight-figure business.
如果你满足以上条件 请点击下方如果不是的话
So if it’s you, click below but if it’s not,
我们为你提供了一个机会
we actually have an opportunity for you
介绍了这个人你就可以赚5000刀
to make $5,000 to for referring this person.
如果你介绍了他们 我们雇佣他们 并干上六个月
If you refer them, we hire them and they stay for six months,
我们将会付你5000美元
we’re going to pay you $ 5,000
因为这真的是对我们的事业非常重要
because this is really, really important for our business.
他将会
This is someone who’s going
与我和本一起合作
to work very closely with me and Ben
他将会帮助我们发展这件事情
and who’s going to help us grow this thing
这样我们制作更多的内容
so that I can make more content
做我真正想做的事
and do what I really want to do
那是聚焦于更多个人的事情
which is to focus on more in-person things;
这就让我充满热情的事业
that’s what gets me jazzed and what
如果你是我们要找的人
I want to be doing and if you’re the person
帮助我们开展数字化营销
who could help us with digital marketing,
请花点时间在下面申请
please take the time and apply below.
所以我希望你们喜欢这个视频
So I hope that you guys enjoyed this video;
我希望你运用这里的心态
I hope that you implement some of these mindsets.
如果还没有订阅 请记得订阅我们节目
If you haven’t yet, make sure to subscribe,
点击通知按钮
hit that notification bell,
当然 我希望在下一个视频中看到你
and of course, I look forward to seeing you in the next video.