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遵循这三条人生建议其实会弊大于利

3 Common Pieces of Life Advice that Do More Harm Than Good

– So there is a lot of advice floating around on the internet
现如今网络上流传着许多建议
and not all of it is good.
但并非所有的都是好的
So what we’re going to do today
今天我们将要做的
is get away from the productivity tips
是远离所谓的小窍门
and the self-improvement advice
和那些关于自我提升的建议
that I think is actually good
接受真正意义上好的
and should be implemented into your life
并且真的可以运用在生活中的建议
and talk about three pieces of advice that I took very seriously
并对我曾非常认真看待的三条建议进行探讨
in some cases tried to follow for quite a long period of time,
很长一段时间我都在遵循
before realizing that they were ultimately bad advice
而后来意识到是错误的建议
or at least I interpreted them in a bad way
或者可以说我用错误的方式诠释了它们
and ended up doing something more destructive
最终对自己的生活做了些消极的
than positive in my life.
而非积极的事
And we’re just gon na jump into with one
我们先来看看第一条建议吧
that I get emailed about all the time which
我常收到一种邮件
is the common saying that you are the product
关于那句老生常谈的话
of the five people you spend the most time around. Now,
你是你相处时间最多的五个人的集合产物
on the surface,
表面上看
there isn’t a whole lot to object to
这句话没有太多可以反驳的地方
with this quotation, or this aphorism or
这句引用语或是格言
whatever it is you want to call it,
或者随你怎么称呼它
because we are influenced by the people we spend the most time around.
因为我们都被周围相处时间最久的人影响着
It’s obvious, people are the products of their friends,
很显然 每个人都是他们的朋友
their family, the people that they tend to hang out with
家庭 或是他们经常趋向于交往的人的产物
or at least, they’re very much influenced by those people,
或者至少 他们深受这些人的影响
but where they start going down the wrong path, I think,
但是我认为 这条建议有时会往错误的方向发展
is when they take that piece of advice
因为当他们听从这条建议时
and they draw the conclusion
他们会得出一个结论
that if I’m an ambitious person,
如果我是一个有志向的人
if I have a lot of goals,
如果我有许多目标
if I’m really high-energy and I want to be successful,
如果我真的斗志满满并渴望成功
then I have to ditch everyone in my life
那么我必须抛弃我生命中那些
who doesn’t operate in the same way that I do.
和我处事方式完全不同的人
If I’m friends with somebody but they’re a little bit more chill,
如果我和一些有点消沉的人做朋友
or they don’t want to be working 24/7,
或者他们不想全年无休地工作
I need stopping friends with those people immediately
我需要立即不再和这些人做朋友
and go find new friends who are going to be a lot more ambitious.
然后结交更有志向的新朋友
And I really don’t like this piece of advice
我真的不喜欢这条建议
because it leads people to think these things.
因为它会引导人们去思考这些事情
And in fact, when I was younger and I think more foolish,
事实上 我小时候的想法更蠢
I thought this as well
我也曾经这样认为
now luckily, I didn’t end up following through with
但幸好我后来没有遵循它
it and actually ditching my friends, but there were times
也没放弃我的朋友们
when I was thinking to myself,
但有时候我自己也在想
man, maybe I need to go find a different friend group
伙计!我可能该去结交一些不同的朋友了
because I seem to be interested in different things,
因为我好像对不同的事物感兴趣
I seem to be wanting to work on my entrepreneurial projects all the time
我似乎一直 想要去创业
while my friends kinda don’t do the same thing.
然而我的朋友 却没有这样念头
And what I realized later on is
后来我意识到
that you don’t have to be on the same ambitional wavelength as your friends
你不一定需要 和你的朋友们有相同的抱负
to be friends with them
你们只要处朋友就够了
because friendships are separate from your work
因为友谊与你的工作
and your goals and ambitions, but what you
目标和抱负应区分开
do need to make sure you are doing is
但你要确保你应该做的是
spending some of your time surrounding yourself with people who do build you up and
花你的一部分时间去 与那些帮助你成长的人
who do motivate you and encourage and challenge you.
和那些激励 鼓励你 给你挑战的人相处
So a better way to put this, in the way that I would prefer it be communicated
所以我个人倾向的 交朋友的方法是
to people in the future, is don’t worry about the time breakdown.
把时间分开利用
Don’t try to list out the
不要试着去列出
five people you hang out with
你最常交往的五个人
the most often and then rank them and give them qualities
去评价他们的质量
because number one, friendships don’t have to be based on having
首先 因为友谊不需要基于
the exact same ambitions or even the same level of ambition.
有相同或者同等级的抱负
You could be friends with somebody
你能和一个人成为朋友
just because you like them and enjoy spending time with them,
仅仅因为你喜欢他们 并且享受和他们一起度过的时光
but make sure that you are spending time with people who do challenge you.
不过要确保你也和挑战你的人处一处
So a practical example of this would be
这儿有个实际的例子
if you’re in college and you’re hanging out with your friends in the dorms playing
如果你在大学里 经常和室友们在宿舍玩电子游戏
video games, playing board games, whatever it is,
棋类游戏 或其他什么游戏
also make sure that you have some time during the week
你也要确保一周里有一些时间
that you go and participate in a club or you
去参加个俱乐部
go to networking events, just do something where you
或者各种社交活动 就是做点什么好让你
are regularly exposed to people who do challenge you.
能定期接触到给你挑战的人
And this could be really simple.
这就很简单了
It could even be a once a week mastermind group
可以是一周一次的策划组
through Skype or Discord or any other online chat platform,
通过Skype或者Discord或者其他网聊平台
just make sure you get that regular exposure.
只要确保你会定期接触他们
And when you go about it in this way,
并且当你这样做的时候
you’re also not ditching people who quite honestly,
你也不会抛弃那些非常真诚
probably need you.
并且需要你的人
Remember that if you’re an ambitious person, if you have a
请记住 如果你是一个有抱负的人
lot of goals if you’re kinda going somewhere in life, or
如果你有很多目标 有着明确的人生目标
you feel like you are, then you’re probably an inspiration and a source of motivation and strength for somebody else.
那么也许你会成为某人的灵感 动力甚至力量的来源
And if we all took this literally,
如果我们都从字面上理解这句话
if we all said,
都认为说
I have to be around the five people
自己必须围绕在最激励自己
who are most inspiring who are gonna challenge me the most,
最具挑战性的五个人身边
we would all only look upwards.
我们就只会向上看
We would constantly be ignoring the people who probably need us
我们会不断忽略那些 可能需要我们的人
and trying to chase people who we think we need.
而一直去试着 追赶那些我们认为自己需要的人
And instead, we should be thinking in both directions.
相反 我们应该学会双向思考
We should be pursuing relationships with people who do challenge us and who we can learn from,
我们要去追逐给我们挑战 值得我们学习的人
but we should also make sure that we keep cultivating relationships with people who we can help.
也要确保和我们能帮到的人 维持关系
All right, the second piece of advice
好了 我即将谈论第二条建议
that I want to talk about here is simple.
这条建议很简单
Be everywhere.
无处不在
And again, this is another one that on the surface
同样 这是另一条
seems like a really good piece of advice,
表面上看起来是好的建议
especially if you want to get your name out into the world. Now,
尤其是如果你想名扬四海的话
when I heard this piece of advice,
之前当我听到这个建议时
it was in the context
它来自于一篇文章主题为
of how to build a successful blog,
如何构建一个成功的博客
how to build a successful online following.
如何成功地获取粉丝
And again, it seems like a really good piece of advice,
这似乎又是个很好的建议
because if you are everywhere,
因为如果你无处不在
if you’re on LinkedIn and Twitter and Facebook and YouTube
如果你在LinkedIn Twitter Facebook YouTube
and commenting on other blogs and all kinds of stuff,
或者在他人的博客里评论等等所有类似的事
then there are so many different opportunities
那将会有许多不同的机会
for people to find out who you are.
让人们去发现你是谁
But again, it’s the way in which you interpret this advice
不过同样 对这个建议不同的
that really makes the difference.
理解方式将导致不同的结果
And the way that I interpreted it, was actually destructive,
我理解它的方式 实际上是有点负面的
because I took be everywhere
因为我把无处不在
as a call for me to be active on every platform all the time.
理解为持续在每个平台活跃
on LinkedIn and I was writing articles on LinkedIn
所以我在LinkedIn上写文章
and I was commenting on other people’s articles.
并且在别人的文章下面评论
I was on twitter and I
我在玩twitter时
had a habit in my habit tracker
在我的习惯记录里有这样一个习惯
at one point to tweet five articles a day
我会在某一时刻一天推送五篇文章
and a certain amount of quotes per day.
和每天发一定数量的名言
I had Facebook pages.
我还有Facebook主页
I was even on app.net for a while and
我甚至曾经用过一段时间的App.net
probably nobody watching this video even remembers what app.net
观众里可能没谁会记得App.net是什么了吧
was’cause it died a pretty quick death.
因为这个网站很快就倒闭了
So I would say that looking back on my career,
我要说的是 回顾我的事业
the points at which I made the most progress
让我取得进展的关键是
were the ones where I failed to be everywhere,
我无法做到无处不在
they were the times where I got one idea in my head,
有好几次 我想出了好点子
one piece of content that I wanted to make, one article, one video
我想要做一份有主题内容的 一篇文章或者一个视频
and I ignored everything else for a period of days, sometimes even weeks
我会忽略所有无关的事好几天 甚至几周
to make one great thing. Now,
只为了做成一件大事
there is a quote that I do want to share here,
有一句名言 我非常想在这里分享出来
which I’m going to edit a little bit to remove a exploitative,
我会对它做些改动 去掉无关信息
but the quote goes, “Self-promotion, if you don’t like it,
那句话是这样说的 自我提升 如果你不愿意做
“stay in your basement.”
就呆在你的地下室里吧
You do have to self-promote.
你必须自我提升
You do have to put your work out there,
你必须要做出实实在在的努力
but I think you need to take a majority of
但是我认为你可以把你的大部分时间
your time and use it to focus on creating something
用来集中精神做一些
that is really worth paying attention to or honing your skills
真正值得关注的或者能够提高技能的事
so you are in the top 10 % or 5 % of people in your field.
这样你就能成为在你的领域里 前10% 5%的人
Once you’ve done that, then you can take a little
一旦你做到了这些
bit of time that’s left over and use it on self-promotion
你就能用多出的一些时间来做自我提升
and you can be everywhere to a certain extent.
这样你就能做到某种程度的无处不在了
You can have a presence on all these platforms,
你可以出现在所有的这些平台
but if you’re splitting you’re time up into little chunks
但是如果你试着把每一天的时间分成小段
every single day trying to be active on all these platforms,
尝试活跃于所有平台
you don’t have any time left over to do something that’s worth sharing,
你就不会再有剩余的时间去做一些真的值得分享的事了
so focus on that first.
所以首先要集中精力
And speaking of focus,
说到专注
that brings us to our third
我们正好来谈下第三个建议
and final piece of bad advice,
也就是最后一个坏的建议
which is the common advice to focus on your strengths and ignore your weaknesses.
集中精力于你的长处 忽视你的短处
Now again, just as with the first two pieces of advice we talked about here,
和之前提到的那两条建议一样
this is something that can be interpreted in a positive way,
如果你明白自己的长处所在
if you know what your strengths are.
你就会往积极的方面来理解
But the problem is, we give this advice to people who are often very early in their careers
但问题是 这个建议通常是给一些职场新人
or sometimes to kids and when you’re a kid
有时候是给孩子 而当你还是孩子
or when you’re a teenager or when you’re early
或是青年或当你初入职场时
in your career, you often haven’t put in enough work
你通常没有付出足够多的努力
to know what’s actually a weakness and what’s just something
来了解哪些确实是你的弱点
that you haven’t put enough effort into,
哪些只是因为你投入的精力还不够多
something that you’re just in the dip right now
你可能只是现在处于低谷期
and you haven’t kind of come out of that initial area
你只是身在一个最开始的阶段
of difficulty that almost nobody makes it out of.
一个所有人都很难走出来的困境
So for example, a lot of people in the world say,
比如 很多人都会说
“I’m bad at math,” or”I’m bad at learning languages,”
“我不擅长数学”或者“我不擅长学习语言”
or”I’m just not cut out to play music,
再或是“我不是玩音乐的这块料”
“that’s just a weakness of mine.”
“那是我的弱点”
And that third one is a big one for me.
这第三点建议对我误导了很久
I went a lot of my life saying that I’m
在人生的一大段时间里 我都会说
just not cut out for music, I don’t have
我不是玩音乐的料
it in me to be a musician, I should
我不会成为音乐家
go and do something else and I’ve learned
应该去做一些别的事
in recent years that that isn’t the case at all.
但这几年我明白了 根本不是这回事
I just hadn’t put in the work
我只是还没有付诸行动
to become a somewhat decent musician and now that I have,
去让自己成为一名还不错的音乐家 现在我是了
I realized that no, music is actually a strength,
我意识到我错了 音乐事实上是我的强项
I have this pretty nice improvisational talent that allows me
我有很强的即兴表演天赋
to play music that’s pretty decent at least to my ears.
我的演奏很动听 至少我听起来是这样的
It just took me a while to develop that skill.
而我学习那个技能只花了一小段时间
So I think a better way to go
因此 我有个好方法
about this is to follow your interests.
跟随你的兴趣爱好去学
If you’re interested in something,
如果你对某些事感兴趣
be it speaking Japanese or learning calculus
比如学日语或微积分
or learning high-level statistics or playing the guitar or the piano,
或者是高级统计学 弹吉他 弹钢琴
put ample time into the practice of whatever that thing is. Now,
无论什么 花足够的时间去练习
you may realize down the line that yes,
你尝试过后 也可能意识到
this is a weakness of mine, I’m trying to play
是的 这真的是我的一个弱点
basketball and I’m just not tall enough to dunk the ball, okay,
我尝试打篮球但我的身高不够灌篮
maybe that’s a weakness.
好 这可能真的是个弱点
But I think more times than not,
但我想了很多次
you are going to discover that what you thought was a weakness,
你将会发现 你所认为是弱点的事
was just something that is inherently difficult
对许多人来说 它们真的难学
to learn for a lot of different people and that just requires more work. Now,
都需要付出大量的努力
on that note of following your interests,
像之前提到的 跟随你的兴趣走
one common objection to this might be
可能有人会反驳说
that I don’t know what my interests are or I don’t
我不知道我的兴趣所在
have an interest that’s compelling enough to really follow right now,
或是我现在没有一个足够强烈的兴趣去追随
and if that’s the case for you, then you
如果你也是这种情况的话
might want to go expose yourself to new information
你或许要去接触一些新事物
so you can develop new interests and there
从而发现新的兴趣
are plenty different ways to do that.
有多种多样的方式可以做到这点
You can go browse the stacks
你可以去浏览当地图书馆的书架
of your local library or you can go watch a really interesting documentary
或者你可以去一个叫CuriosityStream平台
on a service like CuriosityStream.
看一部有趣的纪录片
CuriosityStream is a new streaming service with over 2,400 high-quality documentaries
CuriosityStream是一个拥有超过2400个高质量纪录片的新平台
that was actually created by John Hendricks
这个频道由约翰•亨德里克斯创办
who was the founder of the Discovery Channel,
他就是探索频道的创始人
which was the way that I discovered a lot
当我还是个孩子的时候
of my interests as a kid.
我就是从这个频道上发现了很多感兴趣的事
Now the great thing about CuriosityStream is that unlike Discover Channel,
CuriosityStream最大的特点就是它不像探索频道
you don’t have to wait
你不需要等待
for a certain thing to come on,
某一特定的节目上演
at any time and almost anywhere
无论何时何地
since you’ll find CuriosityStream on iOS, Android, Roku
只要你在你的IOS Android Roku或者其他设备上
and plenty of other devices, you can access any documentary you want.
找到CuriosityStream 你就能看到你想看的纪录片
There are science documentaries, history documentaries, technology documentaries,
其中有科学纪录片 历史纪录片 科技纪录片
there are even documentaries from people
甚至还有人物纪录片
like Stephen Hawking and Sigourney Weaver
比如史蒂芬霍金和西戈尼韦弗
and if you’re looking for a place to start,
如果你不知从何入手
then I would like to give you a recommendation
那么我很乐意给你一个推荐
because one of my big interests that I
我没有提及太多的
don’t talk about a whole lot on my
我的一个最大的兴趣
channel is the development of artificial intelligence.
就是关于人工智能的发展
This is something that I’ve been interested in
我一直对这个感兴趣
for probably five or six years at this point
持续了大约五到六年
and on CuriosityStream,
就在CuriosityStream上
you’re gon na find a documentary called the Road to the Singularity, which explores
你将会发现一个叫《奇点之路》的纪录片
how the development of several different technologies
这个纪录片探索了不同科技的发展
including biotech and nano tech could
包括生物技术和纳米技术
lead to the development of artificial intelligence
是如何引导人工智能的发展的
and the singularity in the intelligence explosion.
以及人工智能探索中的奇闻趣事
So if you want to check out that documentary
所以如果你想看这个纪录片
or any of the others on the platform,
或者任何这个平台上的其他纪录片
then you should give CuriosityStream a try.
你可以试一试CuriosityStream这个频道
It’s really affordable, just $2.99 per month
它非常实惠 每个月只需要2.99美元
and if you want to give it a try for free,
或者如果你想免费试用
you can actually get a free 30 day trial
你可以通过CuriosityStream. com/Thomas
of unlimited watching on the platform
并且使用密码Thomas通过验证
by going over to CuriosityStream.com/Thomas
你就能获得30天的免费试用期
and using the code Thomas at checkout.
可以无限制观看频道上的纪录片
Huge thanks as always goes out to CuriosityStream for sponsoring this video and being a big supporter
一如既往地感谢CuriosityStream赞助本视频
of my channel and the content
以及对我的频道和我的内容的大力支持
that I create and thank you as well for watching.
再次感谢你们的观看
If you found this video useful, definitely hit that like button and also h
如果你觉得本视频是有帮助的 点赞并且点击右方的订阅
it subscribe right there so you don’t miss future videos when they come out
确保当你退出后也不会错过今后的视频
and also click right there to get a free copy of my book
点击右方的这里 你将会得到我书籍的赠送本
on how to earn better grades if you haven’t done so already.
如果你成绩总是不理想 它会教你如何取得高分
Last but not least, you can check out one
最后也是很重要的一点
more video on this channel right over here or watch
你可以在这个频道上多看个视频
our latest podcast episode right over here.
或者从这里观看我们最新的一集播客
Thanks for watching, I’ll see you in the next one.
感谢观看 我们下期再见

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视频概述

本视频介绍了现在有很多人会对一些建议有着片面的理解,作者通过自身的经历介绍了其中的三条,并一一给出了正确的解读

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

这个姐姐有点儿丑

审核员

审核员1024

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suzkn6vPl-w

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