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20个迹象表明你情绪成熟

20 Signs You're Emotionally Mature

20 Signs you are Emotionally Mature
20个表明你情绪成熟的迹象
1. You realise that most of the bad behaviour of other people
1. 你意识到他人大部分的不良行为
really comes down to fear and anxiety –
其实是由恐惧和焦虑造成的
rather than, as it is generally easier
而并非一般的简单猜想
to presume, nastiness or idiocy.
他们讨厌或者很卑鄙
You loosen your hold on self-righteousness
你不再那么自以为是
and stop thinking of the world as populated by either monsters or fools.
也不再认为世上处处是坏人和傻瓜
It makes things less black and white at first,
一开始 只是更少地以非黑即白的方式思考
but in time, a great deal more interesting.
但慢慢地 一切都会更加有趣
2. You learn that what is in your head can’t automatically be understood by other people.
2. 你发现他人无法直接理解你的想法
You realise that, unfortunately,
不幸的是 你意识到
you will have to articulate your intentions and feelings
你必须要运用语言把自己的意图和感受表达清楚
with the use of words – and can’t fairly blame others for not getting what you mean
如果你情绪激动 表达含糊不清
until you’ve spoken calmly and clearly.
就不能责怪他人不明白你的意思
3. You learn that – remarkably – you do sometimes get things wrong.
3. 你发现自己有时候确实会犯错误
With huge courage, you take your first faltering steps towards (once in a while) apologising.
你(偶尔)鼓足勇气迈出承认错误的第一步
4. You learn to be confident
4. 你会学着变得自信
not by realising that you’re great,
不是因为你意识到自己的优秀
but by learning that everyone else
而是你明白其他人跟你一样
is just as stupid, scared and lost as you are.
会犯傻 会害怕 还会迷失自我
We’re all making it up as we go along, and that’s fine.
我们都是一边前进一边和解 这没什么
5. You forgive your parents because you realise that
5. 你原谅了父母 因为你知道
they didn’t put you on this earth in order to insult you.
他们把你带到世上不是为了辱骂你
They were just painfully out of their depth
他们只是太疲惫了
and struggling with demons of their own.
没有控制好自己的情绪
Anger turns, at points, to pity and compassion.
愤怒有时会转化为怜悯和同情
6. You learn the enormous influence of so-called
6. 你认识到那些所谓的“小事情”
small things on mood: bed-times, blood sugar and alcohol levels,
能够对情绪产生巨大影响 比如睡眠时间 血糖高低
degrees of background stress etc.
饮酒量 以及内心的压力等等
And as a result, you learn
于是你懂得
never to bring up an important, contentious issue
只有大家都休息好了 没有人过量饮酒
with a loved one until everyone is well rested, no one is drunk,
你也填饱了肚子 心中无烦恼
you’ve had some food,
也不急着去坐火车
nothing else is alarming you and you aren’t rushing to catch a train.
才能和亲近的人提及重要且有异议的事情
7. You give up sulking.
7. 你不再生闷气
If someone hurts you,
如果有人伤害了你
you don’t store up the hatred and the hurt for days.
你不会把怒气和委屈积攒好几天
You remember you’ll be dead soon.
你知道生命短暂
You don’t expect others to know what’s wrong.
你不再指望他人能意识到对你的伤害
You tell them straight and if they get it,
你会直接告诉他们 如果他们明白
you forgive them.
那你就原谅他们
And if they don’t, in a different way,
如果他们不明白 你也原谅他们
you forgive them too.
不过要换一种方式
8. You cease to believe in perfection in pretty much every area.
8. 你懂得几乎所有事物都不是完美的
There aren’t any perfect people, perfect jobs or perfect lives.
没有完美的人 完美的工作或生活
Instead, you pivot towards an appreciation
相反 你会转而欣赏一种
of what is (to use the psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott’s
用精神分析学家唐纳德·温尼科特典型的话来说
exemplary phrase) ‘good enough.’
“足够好”的生活态度
You realise that many things in your life are at once quite frustrating
你意识到生活中有许多令人沮丧的事
– and yet, in many ways, eminently good enough.
但从其他方面来看 这些事已经够好了
9. You learn the virtues of being a little more
9. 你发现对结果持悲观态度
pessimistic about how things will turn out
不见得是坏事
– and as a result, emerge as a calmer,
你会因此成为一个更加冷静
more patient and more forgiving soul.
更有耐心也更加宽容的人
You lose some of your idealism
你放弃了部分理想主义
and become a far less maddening person
成为一个不那么让人讨厌的人
10. You learn to see that everyone’s weaknesses of character
10. 你发现每个人性格上的缺点
are linked to counter-balancing strengths.
都与平衡自身的优点联系在一起
Rather than isolating their weaknesses, you look at the whole picture:
不能只看到别人的缺点 而要全面地看待他人
yes, someone is rather pedantic,
有的人确实中规中矩
but they’re also beautifully
但他们一丝不苟
precise and a rock at times of turmoil.
遇到困难时 他们值得信赖
Yes someone is a bit messy,
有的人不修边幅
but at the same time brilliantly creative and very visionary.
但有时他们却非常有创造力和远见
You realise (truly) that perfect people don’t exist –
你真正地意识到人无完人
and that every strength will be tagged with a weakness.
有优点就一定会有缺点
11. You fall in love a bit less easily.
11. 你不再容易爱上别人
It’s difficult, in a way.
这其实很难
When you were less mature,
当你还不成熟的时候
you could develop a crush in an instant.
你可能会瞬间对某人产生好感
Now, you’re poignantly aware that everyone,
现在你深刻地意识到
however externally charming or accomplished,
无论一个人多么有魅力 多么有才华
would be a bit of a pain from close up.
在失恋的时候都会感到痛苦
You develop loyalty to what you already have.
你会更加珍惜眼前人
12. You learn that you are – rather surprisingly
12. 你惊讶地发现
– quite a difficult person to live with.
自己并不是一个好相处的人
You shed some of your earlier sentimentality towards yourself.
你摆脱了早先对自己的一些伤感
You go into friendships and relationships
你交到了朋友 有了对象
offering others kindly warnings
并善意地提醒他们
of how and when you might prove a challenge.
在何时 何种情况下你可能会难以相处
13. You learn to forgive yourself for your errors and foolishness.
13. 你学着原谅自己的错误和愚蠢
You realise the unfruitful self-absorption involved in
因为你知道 为曾经犯下的错误而自责
simply flogging yourself for past misdeeds.
并没有多大用处
You become more of a friend to yourself.
你学会与自己和谐相处
Of course you’re an idiot,
虽然你也有犯傻的时候
but you’re still a loveable one, as we all are.
但你和大家一样值得被爱
14. You learn that part of what maturity involves
14. 你明白成熟的其中一个表现
is making peace with the stubbornly child-like bits of you that will always remain.
就是和那个永远固执又孩子气的自己妥协
You cease trying to be a grown up at every occasion.
不管在什么场合 你都不再故作成熟
You accept that we all have our regressive moments
你明白我们每一个人都有不懂事的时候
– and when the inner two year old you rears its head,
当我们内心那个两岁“小孩”出来捣乱时
you greet them generously and give them the attention they need.
我们要大方地迎接他 给予他需要的关注
15. You cease to put too much hope in grand plans
15. 你不再把太多希望寄托在宏伟的计划上
for the kind of happiness you expect can last for years.
因为你所期待的幸福可以持续很多年
You celebrate the little things that go well.
你会庆祝每一件进展顺利的小事情
You realise that satisfaction comes in increments of minutes.
你的满足感会随着时间的推移而增加
You’re delighted if one day passes by without too much bother.
如果一天过得很顺利 你会很开心
You take a greater interest in flowers and in the evening sky.
你对绽放的花朵和傍晚的天空饶有兴致
You develop a taste for small pleasures.
你喜爱生活中的小乐趣
16. What people in general think of you ceases to be such a concern.
16. 你不再关注别人是如何看你的
You realise the minds of others are muddled places
你明白别人对你的看法各不相同
and you don’t try so hard to polish your image in everyone else’s eyes.
你不再努力改善自己在别人眼中的形象
What counts is that
重要的是
you and one or two others are OK with you being you.
你自己和其他一两个人能接受真实的你
You give up on fame and start to rely on love.
你放弃名望 开始相信爱
17. You get better at hearing feedback.
17. 你学会了接受别人的意见
Rather than assuming that anyone who criticises you
不再认为批评你的人
is either trying to humiliate you or is making a mistake,
不是想羞辱你 就是在犯错误
you accept that maybe it would be an idea
别人的批评也许意味着
to take a few things on board.
你需要做出一些改变
You start to see that you can listen to a criticism and survive it –
你发现自己可以欣然接受别人批评的声音
without having to put on your armour and deny there was ever a problem.
而不是心存戒备 否认问题的存在
18. You realise the extent to which you tend to live,
18.你发现你的生活
day by day, in too great a proximity to certain of your problems and issues.
会日复一日地出现某些问题和烦恼
You remember – more and more – that you need to get out
你愈加明白 你要摆脱令你痛苦的事
and get perspective on things that pain you.
要正确地看待它们
You take more walks in nature, you might get a
你更亲近大自然
pet (they don’t fret like we do) and you appreciate
你可能会养只猫(它们可不像我们这样焦躁)
the distant galaxies above us in the night sky.
你还会抬头仰望夜空中那遥远的星系
19. You recognise how your distinctive past
19. 你意识到 过去那些独特的经历
colours your response to events
造就了你处理问题的方式
– and learn to compensate for the distortions that can result.
你学会了弥补那些经历带来的伤害
You accept that, because of how your childhood went, you have a predisposition
童年的经历可能使你过分夸大某些事情
to exaggerate in certain areas.
你接受了这一点
You become suspicious of your own first impulses
你怀疑自己一开始面对那些事情的时候
around particular topics.
带有冲动的情绪
You realise – sometimes – not to go with your first feelings.
你明白有的时候不能跟着第一感觉走
20. When you start a friendship,
20. 交朋友的时候
you realise that other people don’t principally want to know your good news,
你发现别人并不总是想知道你的好消息
so much as gain an insight into what troubles and worries you,
他们也想知道你的烦恼和忧愁
so that they can in turn feel less lonely with the pains of their own hearts.
就算他们心里难受 也不会感到那么孤独
You become a better friend because you see
你会成为一个更好的朋友
that what friendship is really about is a sharing of vulnerability.
因为你知道友情的真谛是分享自己脆弱的一面
Our Emotional Barometer is a tool
我们的情绪晴雨表可以帮助大家
to help us more clearly explain our moods.
更清楚地了解自己的情绪
Click the link on screen now to find out more.
想了解更多 请点击屏幕上的链接

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视频概述

你认为自己在情绪上是个成熟的人吗?看看你是否有视频中的20个表现。

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

Spencer

审核员

审核员MS

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-J9BVBjK3o

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