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12个信号表明你正处于一段不健康的情感关系 – 译学馆
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12个信号表明你正处于一段不健康的情感关系

12 Signs You're in an Unhealthy Relationship

健康的情感关系是世界上最好的事情之一
Healthy relationships are one of the best things in the world.
它鼓励我们 挑战我们 支持我们
They lift us up, challenge us, support us
让我们觉得自己是超人
and make us feel like we’re superhuman.
当我们感情稳定时 没有什么能让我们沮丧
Nothing can get us down when we’re in a good relationship,
尤其是在恋爱刚刚开始的时候
especially ones that are just beginning.
但如果你正处于认识某人的
But if you’re in the beginning stages of
初期阶段
getting to know someone,
你怎么知道这段感情是否健康呢?
how can you tell if it really is healthy?
我们常常太过于专注自我
Often we get so wrapped up in ourselves
以至于无法意识到什么时候关系是不健康的
that we don’t see when relationships are unhealthy.
这看上去似乎很遥远
It might seem like a far away
“永远不会发生在我们身上”的事情
“It’ll never happen to us” thing,
但是不健康的情感关系
but unhealthy relationships are
比你想象的要普遍得多
more common than you would think
有时候还会悄悄出现在你身上
and sometimes sneak up on you.
如果你怀疑自己正处于一段不健康的恋情中
If you suspect you might be in an unhealthy relationship,
继续听下去 看看这些信号是否符合你和你的男友
listen on and see if any of these match up to you and your beau.
1. 你们经常……吵架
1. You fight… a lot.
不 我不是说你俩在为
No, we don’t mean arguing over
共同做好晚饭后谁来打扫卫生的问题而争吵
who has to clean up after you’ve both cooked dinner.
我们说的是相互吼叫
We’re talking about yelling,
威胁和尖叫
threatening and screaming at each other.
如果你俩因为一点小分歧
If you two are getting into screaming matches
就吵得不可开交
over every little disagreement,
你就需要重新回忆一下你们在一起的原因了
you need to rethink why you two are together in the first place.
2. 你有所隐瞒
2. You hide things.
我们指的不是糖果或者复活节彩蛋
And we don’t mean candy or Easter eggs,
我们指的是给别人发消息
we mean things like texting other people,
撒谎骗他你在哪里
lying about where you were
或其他不诚实的行为
or other dishonest actions.
如果你的对象因为
If your partner will get mad at you
你总是给你最好的朋友发消息
for texting your best friend forever
或者和朋友出去玩而不呆在家里陪他而生气
or going out with friends instead of staying home with them,
那么你可能正处于一段不健康的恋情中
you might just be in an unhealthy relationship.
3. 走这边还是走高速公路
3. This way or the highway.
如果你的恋情总是围绕着
If your relationship always revolves around
对方想怎么做
how the other person wants to do things
或者你想怎么做
or how you want to do things,
那么 你正处于一段不好的人际关系中
you’re not in a good relationship.
情感包括成为伙伴
Partnerships involve being partners.
这意味着在采取行动前
This means you need to compromise,
你需要妥协 倾听和讨论
listen and discuss before actions are taken.
如果这总是由一个人决定
If it’s always one person’s way,
你俩需要坐下来
you two need to sit down and sort it out
在怨恨和愤怒滋生前解决问题
before resentment and anger starts to breed.
4. 你感到内疚
4. You feel guilty.
这个信号比较难确定
This one’s a little harder to pin down.
你的对象甚至可能没有意识到
Your partner might not even be aware
你有这种感觉
that you’re feeling this way.
甚至你自己可能也没有意识到你有这种感觉
Heck, you might not even be aware that you’re feeling this way.
如果你为独处而焦虑
If you get worried about taking time for yourself
或者你觉得他不准你独处
or if you feel that you’re not allowed to,
就去和你的对象谈谈
address it with your partner.
这可能是一个误会
It might be a miscommunication,
也可能是一个暗示
or it might be a clue
你们的关系并非你想象的那么健康
that your relationship isn’t as healthy as you think.
5. 单向的
5. It’s one-sided.
很多关系都是有关分担你的负担的
So much of relationships is about sharing your burdens.
当你恋爱时 你会找个人去依靠
When you’re in a relationship, you get someone to lean on,
和他讨论问题
talk about problems with,
让他帮你解决困难 反之亦然
and help to deal with your struggles and vice-versa.
你需要确保
You need to make sure
你能成为你对象的支柱
you’re available to be a support system for your partner,
让他们在有需要时依靠你
letting them lean on you when they need to.
如果一段关系是建立在一个人的基础上的
If the relationship is based on one person or the other,
这就不是真感情
it’s not a real relationship,
而只是在利用别人罢了
it’s just taking advantage of someone.
6. 他们把你踩在脚下
6. They put you down.
我指的不是身体上的
We don’t mean physically,
我的意思是他们辜负你的希望
we mean that they put down your hopes
不支持你 也不支持你的梦想
and don’t support you and your dreams.
你需要一个和你一样聪明的人
You need someone just as brilliant as you are,
一个帮助你实现目标的人
someone who will help you achieve your goals
或者至少在你为他们奋斗的
or at least cheer you along the way
过程中 为你加油的人
while you strive for them yourself.
任何一个对象 只要说你的目标是“愚蠢的”
Any partner that says your goals are “stupid”
他就不是你想要的对象
is NOT a partner you want to have.
马上离开他!
Get out! Quick.
7. 他们拒绝做对你重要的事情
7. They refuse to do things that matter to you.
如果你已经说了三次
If you’ve said three times
你讨厌水槽里的盘子放了好几天都不洗
that you hate when the dishes sit in the sink for days on end
你的对象仍然不改变他们邋遢的生活方式
and your partner still doesn’t change their slovenly ways,
你就需要离开了
you need to get out.
他们显然不如你尊重他们那么尊重你
They clearly don’t respect you as much as you respect them.
如果他们尊重你 就会倾听你关心的事情
If they did, they would listen to your concerns
并努力去做对你来说最重要的事情
and make an effort to do the things that matter the most to you.
8. 你们互相依赖
8. You’re codependent.
这有点难以辨别
This one’s a little trickier to identify.
如果你和你的对象
If you and your partner can’t live
每天时时刻刻都要互相交谈
without talking to each other every minute of every day,
你就需要重新评估一下你的优先事项了
you need to reevaluate your priorities.
你们的关系应该是你们生活中快乐的一部分
Your relationship should be a happy addition to your life.
9. 他们让你感到不安
9. They make you feel insecure.
你的另一半应该让你觉得
Your significant other should make you feel like
你是世界上最伟大的人
you’re the greatest thing in the world.
为什么? 因为你就是!
Why? Because you are!
你是一个聪明 勤奋
You’re an intelligent, hard-working individual
尊重自我的独立个体
who respects yourself.
如果你的对象不尊重你 你就要离开他
And if your partner isn’t respecting you, you need to leave them.
这不是一段健康的关系 而你值得拥有更好的
They aren’t healthy for you and you deserve better.
如果你有任何不安 那就离开他
If you feel insecure in any way, get yourself out.
你处在一段不健康的关系中
You’re in an unhealthy relationship,
没有他们 你会更快乐
and you’ll be much happier without them.
10. 他们虐待你
10. They’re abusive.
这似乎显而易见 但有时候
It seems obvious but sometimes people in relationships
恋爱中的人看不清现实
can’t see what’s actually going on.
他们会为对象辩解或者
They justify their partner’s actions or
觉得是自己的责任
take the blame on themselves.
不要这样!
Don’t!
如果你的对象在言语上 身体上或性虐待你
If your partner is verbally, physically or sexually abusive,
你需要寻求帮助并离开他
you need to get help and get out.
如果你不确定如何寻求帮助或是否需要帮助
If you aren’t sure how or if you need help,
就去咨询顾问 医生或其他你信任的人
talk to a counselor, a doctor or someone else you trust.
他们能给你提供你需要的资源
They’ll be able to get you the resources
让你来照顾自己
you need to take care of yourself.
11. 你把自己变成他们想要的样子
11. You change yourself to be what they want.
这是不健康关系的一个不易察觉的信号
This is a subtle sign of an unhealthy relationship,
但应该是一个大警钟
but should be a big red flag.
如果你的对象说 “我喜欢金发女郎”
If your partner says “I like blondes”,
然后 你就去染头发
and you go out and dye your hair,
这意味着你的对象实际上不想和你在一起
it means your partner doesn’t actually want to be with you,
他们想和自己的想法在一起
they want to be with their ideas.
找一个真正爱你的人!
Find someone who loves you for YOU!
然后你就会知道你正处于一段健康的关系中
And then you’ll know you’re in a healthy relationship.
12. 你不开心
12. You’re unhappy.
在一段不健康的关系中
The biggest sign of being in an unhealthy relationship
最大的信号就是你不开心
is when you’re unhappy.
一段感情应该是一段积极的经历
A relationship is meant to be a positive experience.
你应该期待见到你的对象
You’re supposed to look forward to seeing your partner,
而不是为适应他们的日常存在而感到害怕或压力
not dread or stress about fitting them into your schedule.
让这段关系翻篇吧
Let the relationship go.
这样你会更开心
And you’ll feel much happier.
相信我们:
Trust us:
单身比一段不健康的关系更好
no relationship is better than an unhealthy relationship.
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be sure to give it a thumbs up.
同样 感谢你的收看
And as always, thanks for watching.

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视频概述

视频介绍了十二种不健康情感关系的信号,如果你有以上情况,你需要和你对象好好谈谈或者索性恢复单身~

听录译者

未央lin

翻译译者

咬人的小脑斧

审核员

审核员#CC

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6AXUUB7P4lE

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