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10种应对不被回报的爱的方法 – 译学馆
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10种应对不被回报的爱的方法

10 Ways to Deal with Unrequited Love

对某人有感觉是很容易的
Catching feelings for someone is easy,
但是观察他们是否对你也有同样的感觉
but seeing if they feel the same way
却是很费劲的
towards you is nerve-wracking.
不被回报的爱是令人痛苦的
Unrequited love is a special kind of hell.
但是不管多么痛苦
But no matter how painful it is,
你仍然可以用以下10种方式应对
you can still overcome it by using these 10 methods.
1. 允许自己悲伤
1. Allow yourself to grieve.
受到拒绝很伤人 使你心碎
Rejection hurts. Your heart is broken,
身体沉重 精疲力尽
but your whole body feels heavy and worn down.
这是因为情感上的伤心
This is because emotional pain
会刺激大脑中控制身体疼痛的区域
activates the same part of your brain as physical pain.
对自己好点 让自己慢慢疗伤
Be kind to yourself and let yourself heal.
不要假装一切都好
Don’t pretend like everything is ok
别把心碎不当回事
or put off dealing with your heartbreak as if it’s a chore.
承认你不开心
Acknowledge that you’re not emotionally well
而且可能会持续很久
and probably won’t be for a while.
你必须接受伤痛 心情才会变好
You have to accept the pain before you can get better.
2. 意识到自己不孤单
2. Realize you’re not alone.
拒绝让我们脆弱
Rejection makes us vulnerable.
我们选择自己承受伤痛 因为涉及到内心
And we take it personally, because our heart is involved.
我们经常掉入的陷阱是
One trap we often fall into is
认定我们不够好
believing that we’re not good enough
仅仅因为别人没回应我们的情感
just because one person didn’t return our feelings.
我们就可能认为自己不够有魅力
We might think that we’re not attractive,
不够聪明和可爱
smart or lovable enough.
但是不被回报的爱经常发生
But unrequited love happens frequently,
甚至在那些我们认为浪漫的人身上也会发生
even to people we think would never have a hard time with romance.
防止自我贬低的好方法
A good way to prevent self-depreciation
是考虑其他的角度
is to consider other perspectives.
或许仅仅是因为时机不对
Perhaps it was simply bad timing
或者你们两个人不合适
or the two of you aren’t right for one another.
着重于爱自己
Focus on manifesting self-love,
而不是摧毁自己
instead of pulling yourself down,
而会使你更快从心碎中走出来
and you’ll definitely recover faster from the heartbreak.
3. 问一问自己被拒绝是否有固定模式
3. Ask if there’s a pattern in your rejections.
对于一些人来说
For some people,
爱上拒绝他们的人
falling in love with someone who rejects them
是在重复基于相似童年经历的固定模式
is a pattern they repeat based on similar childhood experiences.
如果他们的抚养者在他们需要支持时不及时出现
They may have developed insecure attachment
他们可能形成了不安全型依恋
if they had caretakers who weren’t always available when they needed support.
尝试联系你被拒绝的经历
Try to assess your history of rejections
看看是否与所靠近的人
and see if the people you’re choosing
都在重复童年经历过的
are repeating the same type of behavior
关系模式
you experienced in your childhood.
如果是的话 这将只会
If so, this will only cause you to relive
使你重复经历童年被抛弃和背叛的感觉
the times you felt abandoned or betrayed.
你甚至进一步封闭自己
And you’ll close yourself off even further,
变得很难相信别人
finding it harder to trust people.
为了打破这个循环
To break out of this cycle,
就要认识到这个模式
it’s important to recognize the pattern
并意识到你通常移情的人都是什么样的
and be aware of who you choose to bare your feelings to.
4. 明白一个人拒绝你
4. Realize that it’s also hard
也是很难的
for the person who rejected you.
拒绝别人的人
People who reject others
经常最后都会愧疚和不安
often suffer from guilt and anxiety afterwards.
处理心碎不容易
It’s not easy dealing with heartbreak,
但使你心碎的人也会为
but heartbreakers usually feel awful about
无意伤害你感到痛苦
hurting someone without meaning to.
5. 与拒绝你的人保持距离
5. Distance yourself from the person who rejected you,
即使表白过后两个人都同意保持朋友关系
even if both of you agree to remain friends after your confession.
但在两个人中保持一定距离
It’s a good idea to create some distance
是非常明智的
between the two of you
这可以给你自己时间平复心情
to give yourself time to work out your feelings.
如果他们真的在乎你 他们会理解的
If they truly care about you, they’ll understand.
不要担心关系会变冷
Don’t worry about coming off cold.
保持距离可以帮助你
Creating space can help you
以更合理的视角看待问题
put things into a healthier perspective.
因为以狭隘的视角
It’s easy to have tunnel vision
继续与拒绝你的人亲密互动
when you’re still closely interacting
是我们轻易就做出的选择
with the person that rejected you.
后退几步
Backing off for a while
将会帮助减轻你的依恋
will help you ease off the attachment you feel.
7. 以旁观者的角度看待自己的感受
6. Treat your feelings like they’re someone else’s.
将自己视为旁观者进行自我对话
Talking to yourself in the third person
可以帮助你更好的控制情绪
can help you better control your emotions.
这可以允许你走出你常规视角
This allows you to step out of your usual perspective,
用一种更客观的视角看待自己的情形
and assess the situation in a more objective point of view.
情绪可能是非常耗神的
Emotions can be very high-maintenance.
当你被负面情绪包围时
And when you’re flooded with negative thoughts,
难以自我消化
it’s hard to be self-absorbed.
然而用旁观者的角度进行自我觉察
Instead, monitor your feelings like they’re another person.
可以帮助你认识到
This can help you realize that
不被回报的感觉并不是你拥有的唯一感觉
your unrequited feelings aren’t the only feelings you have.
能够跳出原有框架
Just being able to step out of the frame,
看明白这只是你的众多感受之一
and see that they only make up
可以使你放松很多
a part of who you are can be a relief.
7. 关注非浪漫的媒体
7. Focus on non-romantic media.
媒体都充斥着浪漫信息
Media is congested with romance,
但是远离与浪漫有关的
but it’s helpful to step away from books,
书籍 电影 博客 电台一段时间是很有用的
movies, blogs and radio stations on that genre for a while.
你可以转向提升
Instead, you can turn to media
你自信与自爱的媒体
that promotes confidence and self-love.
一旦你专注于提升自我
When you focus on improving your well-being,
你会得到能量
you’ll gain a sense of empowerment
开始去修复你破碎的心
and begin to recover from your broken heart.
8. 升华你的负面情绪
8. Be inspired by your feelings.
不要让你的情绪消耗你
Instead of letting your feelings consume you,
把他们变成生产力
channel them into productivity,
激发你的创作灵感
use them to inspire your craft
或是抽空进行灵魂探索
or just take some time off to soul search.
你也可以培养新的习惯
You can also pick up a new hobby,
只要能帮你把注意力从心碎中转移出来
as long as you can distract yourself from your heartbreak.
9. 不要寻找亲密关系
9. Don’t search for closure.
接受现实情形
Accept the situation at face value,
意识到你并不需要得到你想要的所有答案
and realize you don’t need all the answers you want.
保留对某人的感觉
Holding on to the feelings you have for someone
并不会让他们主动走向你
won’t help them come around.
学会停止批判自己
Learn to stop criticizing yourself,
因为走出不被回报的爱的唯一方法
because the only way to get past unrequited love
是相信你可以把自己从失恋中拉出来
is to believe that you’re enough to pull yourself out of it.
10. 不要放弃爱
10. Don’t give up on love.
最后 我们的未来还是未知的
Ultimately, the future is undetermined.
生活是不可预测的
Life is unpredictable
而在我们最意想不到的时候
and has a funny way of introducing us to
会以有趣的方式帮我们认识新的人
new people when we least expect it.
如果你一直留恋着
If you’re still caught up on someone
那些不值得你付出感情的人
who isn’t worth your time however,
你就拒绝了爱情的很多其他可能
you’re closing yourself off to many other possibilities of love.
关键要处理那些混淆判断力的感觉
The key is to sort through the feelings that are clouding your judgment.
尽管你现在可能不这样想
While it may not feel like it right now,
但心碎最终会过去的
heartbreak will eventually pass.
你处理不被回报的爱的经历是什么样的?
What are your experiences in dealing with unrequited love?
你用过其他好方法吗?
Did you discover any helpful methods?
在评论里留言告诉我们吧
Let us know in the comments below.
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就去我们的网站和他们媒体
be sure to check out our website and other social media
以及我们的patreon账号看看吧
as well as our patreon account.
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多谢观看
Thanks for watching!

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视频概述

被拒绝了之后尽快走出心碎的10种方式

听录译者

洛洛

翻译译者

波妞妞

审核员

审核员HL

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IfeTJNTOMS0

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