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如何抚平分手后的创伤 – 译学馆
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如何抚平分手后的创伤

10 Ways To Deal With A Broken Heart

来吧,心理学
Psych2Go
10种抚平失恋创伤的办法
10 ways to deal with a broken heart.
走出失恋是一个艰难的过程
Moving on from a break up is a difficult process,
伴随着最初分手的冲击
following the shock of initial separation
会有愤怒 悲伤 痛苦等种种
are feelings of anger, sadness and grieve
令人行动迟缓精神麻木的情绪
that is often crippling and mind numbing,
分手的痛苦是如此巨大
The pain of a break up is so profound that
以致于有时不知道接下来该做什么
it sometimes leaves us not knowing what to do next.
虽然没有医治伤心的灵药
Though there is no one pill medicine to soothe out to a broken heart.
但有一些方法能帮助你前进并更快痊愈
There are certain ways that will help you move on and heal faster.
这儿有10种应对失恋的方法
Here’re 10 ways to help you deal with heartbreak.
第一 不要接触 保持距离
1.Steer clear and keep distance.
在刚分手的冲击过后
After the initial shock of a breakup,
有人会徒劳地承诺还是朋友
and on occasions that someone empty promise to remain friends.
请记住要离他们远远的 这很重要
It is important to remember to distance yourself from them.
完全不要联系
No communication whatsoever,
包括电话 短信和即时通讯软件
including calls, texts and IMs.
也不要拜访同一个朋友或家庭
Even contact with the same friends or families should be avoided.
这不是说你要永远躲着他们
It doesn’t mean that you have to avoid them forever.
而是先暂时保持距离
But it is important to keep away for a while
以先让你抚平创伤 继续前进
in order for you to heal your heart and move on.
第二 寻求支持
2. Surround yourself with support.
受伤的时候很容易封闭自己
When hurting, it is easy to distance yourself from others
以逃避痛苦
and just keep the pain away.
你开始质疑自己的价值
You begin to question your self-worth.
你真的足够好吗
Are you really good enough?
但是寻求支持很重要
However it is important that you surround yourself with positivity
要和完全支持你的人呆在一起
and people who will support you fully.
这不仅有利于走出前任的阴影
Not only will this help you in moving on from your ex,
也有利于恢复受伤的自尊
but it will also be good for your bruised ego,
帮助你强化自我概念 重塑自我价值
as it reinforces your self-concept and rebuild your self-worth.
第三 控制愤怒 避免发飙
3. Manage your anger and avoid lashing out.
人们化解愤怒的方式各不相同
People deal with anger differently,
有些人会非常成熟 处理得
some people deal with it with great grace and passiveness
得体而妥帖
that epitomizes maturity.
也有人会烧掉整柜的衣服
There’re also people who would burn closets worth of clothes,
毁掉家具和纪念品
destroyed furniture and memorabilia,
剪碎一本本影集
cut out and shred out album after album of photos,
向提及相关事情的朋友发火
lash out at friends who mention something triggering.
也有人会到前任那里大吵大闹
And on occasions, come up to their ex and make a scene.
找到解决这种愤怒的方法很重要
It is important to find a way to deal with the anger of a break up,
有些人会轻易陷入困境 诉诸酒精和毒品
some can easily fall the deep end and resort to alcohol and drugs.
但健康的对待方法是
One healthy way of coping is to
试着写出这段关系中所有的负面内容
try and write a journal of everything negative in the relationship.
这样不仅能为沮丧和愤怒找个出口
This way not only are you letting out your feeling frustrations and angers.
还可以明白导致分手的首要原因
It can also help justify the reasons why the break up happened in the first place.
第四 感受并处理自己的情绪
4. Feel your emotions and deal with them.
压下一切然后假装没发生过 这是很自然的反应
It’s a natural reaction to push everything down and pretend that nothing happened.
因为无论我们喜欢与否
Because whether we like it or not.
世界都不会因我们失恋而停止
the world doesn’t stop if we are hurt.
分手之后 重要的是要记住
After break-up, it is important to remember
作为人类 我们会有各种情绪
that as humans we feel,
比如愤怒 痛苦 迷惑 沮丧
the anger, the pain, the confusion, the frustration
担心自己不够好
and the worry that you’re not good enough
觉得不可能再开心了
and you may never be happy again.
明白这些情绪都是危险的
Acknowledging these emotions that are frightening,
但是我们必须面对它
However it is necessary to face them.
消化解决它 让我们的生活继续
sift through them and deal with them in order to move on.
留一点时间为失恋而苦恼 它本来会如何如何的
Set time to grieve the relationship for what it was and what it should have been..
哭泣和沉溺
Cry and mope,
但不要让负面情绪占据你 阻碍你继续生活
but don’t let the negative emotions consume you and hold you back from living your life.
第五 把它说出来
5.Talk it out.
巨大的痛苦和无尽的孤独会持续一段时间
There are certain days for the overwhelming feeling of pain and loneliness reaches it’s limits.
觉得好无助
You feel hopeless,
同时好像胸口要爆炸了一样
at the same time you feel like your chest is going to burst.
许多人能够自己走出失恋
Many people are capable of bouncing back from a break-up on their own.
但多数人做不到
But this isn’t possible for most,
他们没办法处理自己的情绪 需要找人聊聊
some people have trouble coping with their emotions and will need someone to talk to.
可以是父母 朋友 或者大多数情况下请教咨询师
It could be a parent, a friend, or in most cases a therapist.
虽然这非常痛苦
While it is painful,
但是谈谈这段关系和分手后的看法
talking about the relationship and the realizations after the relationship is quite helpful
有助于整理好情绪
in sorting out emotions.
如果你没办法调整心态
If you’re having problems coping and feel that you’re depressed,
觉得低落 立刻寻求帮助吧
seek help immediately.
第六 自我反思
6. Self-reflection.
即使你享受相互陪伴
Even if you’re enjoying each other’s company,
这中间也会出问题
something probably went wrong along the way.
想想为什么会分手
Thinking of the reasons why the relationship failed
有助于你发现问题在哪
can help you realize the mistakes you probably made.
并且理解为什么最终会分手
and help you understand where and why the relationship didn’t work out.
也可以避免将来再犯同样的错
This can also help avoid making the same mistakes in future relationships.
到现在 就需要好好关心自己了
By this time, it is important to take good care of yourself.
照照镜子 思考一下自己
Take a look at the mirror and learn more about yourself,
你会发现以前没意识到的事情
you might realize something you never thought possible.
第七 整理你的居住环境
7. Organize your living space.
看到两个人共用过的物品会激发起恐惧和痛苦回忆的浪潮
Seeing things the two of you shared will bring forth torrents of fears and painful memories.
为了改变这点 你可以把东西都换掉并重新装饰你的居住环境
To remedy this, you can change things up and redecorate your environment.
这可能很简单 比如重新摆放沙发和咖啡桌
It can be as simple as rearranging the sofa and coffee table
给整个房间重新喷染一个不同的颜色
to painting the whole room a different color
以及更换窗帘
and changing the drapes.
摆脱掉使你想起过去的痛苦的东西
Remove painful triggers that remind you of the past.
不论是使你想起过去爱人的你的房子
Regardless if your home reminds of your past lover.
接受改变 拥抱并接受它 从中汲取教训
It is important to acknowledge change,
这才重要
embrace and accept it to learn from it.
第八 出门找乐趣
8. Go out and have fun.
有时候很容易忘记在你自己之外还有一整个世界
Sometimes it is easy to forget that there is a whole world outside of your own.
尽管分手很糟糕
While break up suck
就像世界末日那样
and it feels like the end of the world.
但重要的是 要通过找寻乐趣来使自己不再处于消极情绪中
It is important not to let yourself be in by negativity of it.
和家人一起吃饭
Eat meals with your family.
外出与朋友一起逛逛
Go outside and hang out with friends.
在街区逛逛 或只是见见公园里不认识的人或狗狗
Jog along the block or just meet new people and dogs out in the park .
到外面去找找乐趣吧
Go out and have fun.
第九 警惕“反弹式爱情关系”
9.Be aware of rebound relationships.
简单点说 这种爱情关系大多数情况下都起不了作用
Rebound simply doesn’t work most of the time.
一些人在分手后很短时间内就又开始另一段恋爱关系
For some people jumping in on another relationship just shortly after a break up
仅仅是掩饰负面情绪的一种方式
is simply a way of masking the negative emotions.
被另一个人拥抱和欣赏听起来很不错
It may sound nice to be embraced and appreciated by another person.
但是最终 当这段关系也破裂时
But ultimately, when the relationship fails,
你不得不处理的负面情绪就会加倍
the amount of negative emotions you have to do with will double.
在开始另一段不稳定的恋情之前 先把事情弄明白
It is important to settle things first and remain single
并保持单身以反省自己很重要
to reflect on yourself in a relationship before jumping in on an unsteady relationship.
去找乐趣并与他人交往 但是不要轻易开始恋情
Have fun and mingle but don’t commit too easily.
第十 支持你自己的决定
10. Stand by your decision.
无论是你自己或另一方选择结束这段关系
Regardless if it was you or them that chose to end the relationship.
支持分手的事实并尊重分开的决定十分重要
It is important to stand by the break up and respect the decision to separate.
人们很容易就会关注恋爱好的一方面
It is easy to focus on the good side of the relationship,
并完全忽略不好的一方面
and completely dismiss the negative side.
但是 以客观的视角看待恋爱关系是一种
However, it is a balance of looking at the relationship with objective eyes
可以使分手也浪漫的平衡状态
that can help romanticize the break-up.
珍惜你们彼此在一起的快乐时光
Cherish the good moments you have with each other,
从你们共同犯得痛苦错误之中汲取教训
learn from the painful mistakes you did together.
接受事实并继续生活下去
Accept the situation and move forward with your life.
伟大的事情只等待那些奋斗的人
Greater things wait for those who strive.
记住 心碎是一个痛苦的折磨 时不时就要影响我们
Remember, a broken heart is a painful ordeal that affect us at one time or another.
会哭泣 感到消沉 沮丧
It is perfectly normal to cry,
是再正常不过的了
mope and feel depressed about it.
但是 要一直记住:
However, one must always remember that
风雨之后才会有彩虹
there is always the rainbow after the rain.
尽管分手让人感觉身边的世界正崩塌成废墟
That even though it feels like the world around you is collapsing to destruction,
但它也只是生活的一部分
it’s just a part of life.
每次分手都是了解自己和自己将如何做出处理的机会
Each heart-break is a chance to learn more about yourself and how you deal with them.
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视频概述

分手是件很痛苦的事情,但也是生活的一部分,10条建议帮你抚慰受伤的心。

听录译者

洛洛

翻译译者

海参崴

审核员

审核员 DL

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujI-ihgEZVU

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