When people think of abuse,
they often equate it to physical violence.
But that isn’t where abuse starts or ends.
Abuse can be physical, mental, or emotional
and everything in between.
It is important to understand what constitutes as abuse
and what you can do about it if you come to the realization
that you are being abused.
What follows is a list of 10 red flags you might run into
if you are in an abusive relationship.
This list is not meant to be the only red flags of abuse.
And if you feel that you are being abused,
please seek out help.
There will be a short list of resources
and descriptions from this video.
1. Controlling behavior
In many abusive relationships the abuser will
want to control every aspect of their victim’s life.
They might want to know who their victim is talking to,
who they are planning to meet up with,
or where they are going.
This can even flow into them controling what their victim wears,
how their makeup looks,
or how they carry themselves.
2. Humiliates you
This behavior is often done in front of other people,
perhaps his or her friends,
and is used as a way to keep their victim down.
The abuser’s goal is to make them feel weak and small
so that the victim doesn’t stand up for themselves.
3. Guilt Trips
This is a method employed by abusers to get their way.
They might say something like
“if you loved me you would/wouldn’t do this”
or “I though this meant something to you,
but apparently I was wrong.”
The hope is that the victim will feel bad for letting their abuser down,
and just give in to whatever it is they want.
4. Forces you to take responsibility for their feelings.
The abuser will use this tactic as a form of manipulation.
They may say “you make me angry”
or “you’ve done this/you’ve done that”
as a way to make their victim feel responsible for anything bad.
This is meant to push that victim to work on
making the abuser happy at all times.
The abuser wants to keep their victim in line
and making them feel like it’s all their faults,
helps the abuser control their victim’s actions.
With ultimatums the abuser is trying to get what they want by force
without laying hands on their victim.
With an ultimatum the abuser might hold someone over their victim’s head,
perhaps and child or even their home,
in an attempt to gain absolute control over the situation.
The abuser might say something like
“if you go out with your friends, I’ll take away your credit cards.”
or “if you leave me, I’ll kill myself.”
6. Physical violence
If the abuser can’t get their way with words,
they can and will resort to violence.
This can start off as small things like
holding their victim’s arms during an argument
and lead up to completely beating their victim or even killing them.
打 扼喉 绊 推甚至是砸
Hitting, choking, tripping, pushing, or throwing things
are all forms of physical violence in a relationship.
7. A bad temper
The abuser might have a short fuse
or just blow up over something
that doesn’t look like a big deal to anyone else.
This isn’t just a symptom of having anger issues,
it is also yet another form of manipulation.
The goal of this is to scare the victim into being subservient
and obedient by doing anything they can
to stop their abuser from getting angry.
8. Forces you to do things you don’t want to
This can mean anything from making you go to the movies
when you’d rather stay home
to making you do something physically that you don’t want to do.
It is another way for the abuser to gain control over their victim.
Some might even find pleasure in watching their victim be uncomfortable.
9. Constantly checks up on you
An abuser might employ this as a way of keeping their victim in line.
They may demand that their victim text them at certain intervals while they are out
and can even request that the victim send specific pictures,
like them holding up a peace sign
or a selfie with the friend they said they were with.
10. Picking a fight
An abuser might do this to test your limits.
They will want to know how far they can take a fight
and see what all you might be willing to apologize for.
They won’t take responsibility for anything
and will instead make you feel as if it was all your fault.
Once the fight is over they may forgive you right away
or they may keep up a cold facade
to see what you might do to win back their favor.
If you feel like you might be in an abusive relationship,
please seek help.
If you are actively being abused call 911 as soon as you can and report it.
There are also many options based on where you live as well.
There are some links and descriptions in this video.
So, what are your thoughts?
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Thanks for watching.