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10个虐待的危险信号

10 Red Flags of Abuse

来吧!心理学
psych2go
当人们想到虐待时 都常常会把它等同于身体暴力
When people think of abuse, they often equate it to physical violence.
但这绝不是虐待的全部内容
But that isn’t where abuse starts or ends.
虐待可以是身体上的 精神上的 情感上的以及三者之间的
Abuse can be physical, mental or emotional and everything in between.
理解什么是虐待
It is important to understand what constitutes as abuse
和被虐待后怎么做
and what you can do about it
是非常重要的
if you come to the realization that you are being abused.
以下是你在一个虐待关系里
What follows is a list of 10 red flags you might run into
可能会遇到的10个危险信号
if you are in an abusive relationship.
这份清单并没有列出所有的危险信号
This list just is not meant to be the only red flags of abuse,
如果你感觉自己被虐待 就寻求帮助
and if you feel that you are being abused, please seek out help.
这段视频的描述中会有短清单资源
There will be a short list of resources in the description for this video.
1. 控制行为
1. Controlling Behavior.
在很多虐待关系里
In many abusive relationships,
虐待者会想要控制受害者生活的每个方面
the abuser will want to control every aspect of their victim’s life.
他们可能想知道受害者正在跟谁谈话
They might want to know who their victim is talking to,
他们计划去见谁 想去哪里
who they are planing to meet up with, where they are going.
甚至他们还想控制受害者穿什么
This can even flow into them controlling what their victim weares.
他们的妆容或举止是什么样子
How they makeup looks or how they carry themselves.
2.羞辱你
2. Humiliates You.
他们经常在其他人面前做这种行为
This behavior is often done in front of other people.
或许是受害者朋友面前 并且用这种方式让他们沮丧
Perhaps his or her friends, and is used as a way to keep their victim down.
这些虐待者的目的就是让受害者感觉无力和卑微
The abuser’s goal is to make them feel weak and small.
这样受害者就不会奋起反抗了
So that the victim doesn’t stand up for themselves.
3.内疚感
3. Guilt Trips.
这是当虐待者想随心所欲时使用的招术
This is a method employed by abusers when they want to get their way.
他们可能会说这样的话
They might say something like
“如果你爱我 你会或不会做这件事”
“if you loved me, you would or wouldn’t do this”
或是“我以为这对你很重要 但很显然我错了”
or “I thought this meant something to you, but apparently I was wrong.”
目的就是让受害者因令虐待者失望而内疚
The hope is that the victim will feel bad for letting their abuser down,
接着对虐待者的任何心意都妥协
and just give in to whatever it is they want.
4.强迫你对他们的感觉负责
4. Forces you to Take Responsibility for their feelings.
虐待者会用这个伎俩作为控制的手段
The abuser will use this tactic as a form of manipulation.
他们可能说“你让我很生气”
They may say “you make me angry”
或是“你已经做过这件事或那件事了”
or “you’ve done this/you’ve done that”
作为一种让受害者对任何坏事负责的方式
as a way to make their victim feel responsible for anything bad.
他们意在逼迫受害者努力
This is meant to push that victim to work on
使虐待者一直开心
making the abuser happy at all times.
虐待者想控制受害者规规矩矩
The abuser wants to keep their victim in line,
使他们认为都是自己的错
and making them feel like it’s all their fault
以此控制受害者的行为
helps the abuser control their victim’s actions.
5.最后通牒
5. Ultimatums.
虐待者想通过最后通牒 不动一根手指头
With ultimatums, the abuser is trying to get what they want by force,
就可以得到他们想要的
without laying hands on their victim.
有了最后通牒 虐待者可能以某事来威胁受害者
With an ultimatum, the abuser might hold something over their victim’s head.
可能是孩子甚至他们的房子
Perhaps a child or even their home.
试图赢得局面的绝对控制权
In an attempt to gain absolute control over the situation.
虐待者可能会说
The abuser might say something like
“如果你和朋友出去 我就带走你的银行卡”
“if you go out with your friends, I’ll take away your credit cards”
或者“如果你离开我 我就自杀”
or “if you leave me, I’ll kill myself.”
6.身体暴力
6. Physical Violence.
如果虐待者通过言语达不到目的
If the abuser can’t get their way with words,
他们往往会诉诸暴力
they can and will resort to violence.
这可能从小动手脚开始比如
This can start off as small things like
在争吵时抓着受害者的胳膊
holding their victim’s arms during an argument,
最后发展到彻底地打受害者甚至杀了他们
and lead up to completely beating their victim or even killing them.
打 使人窒息 绊倒 推倒或扔东西
Hitting, choking, tripping, pushing, or throwing things
都是关系中身体暴力的形式
are all forms of physical violence in a relationship.
7.坏脾气
7.A bad temper.
虐待者可能脾气暴躁
The abuser might have a short fuse
或因一件没什么大不了的事情
or just blow up over something that
而脾气爆发
doesn’t look like a big deal to anyone else.
这不仅仅是愤怒的征兆
This isn’t just a symptom of having anger issues,
也是控制的另一种形式
it is also yet another form of manipulation.
目的是威胁受害者
The goal of this is to scare their victim into
变得服从与听话 让他们任何可以做的事
being subservient and obedient by doing anything they can
防止虐待者生气
to stop their abuser from getting angry.
8.强迫你做不想做的事
8. Forces you to do things you don’t want to do.
这意味着任何事 比如当你想宅在家里时
This can mean anything from making you go to the movies
让你出去看电影
when you’d rather stay home
或者让你的身体做一些不愿做的事
to making you do something physically that you don’t want to do.
这是虐待者控制受害者的另一个方式
It is another way for the abuser to gain control over their victim.
其中一些甚至会因为看到受害者不舒服而得到愉悦
Some might even find pleasure in watching their victim feel uncomfortable.
9.不停地查岗
9. Constantly Checks up on You.
虐待者可能用这种方式作为
An abuser might employ this as a way
控制受害者的一种方式
of keeping their victim in line.
他们可能要求受害者外出时按时发信息
They may demand that their victim text them at certain intervals while their out
甚至要求受害者发送指定的照片
and can even request that the victim send specific pictures,
比如 他们比“V”的手势
like them holding up a peace sign
或是和之前说过的朋友一起拍的自拍
or selfie with the friend they said they were with.
10.找茬打架
10. Picking a Fight.
虐待者可能用找茬来测试你的底线
An abuser might do this to test your limits.
他们会想知道可以多过分才能打起来
They will want to know how far they can take a fight
看你可能会为什么而道歉
and see what all you might willing to apologize for.
他们不会为任何事负责
They won’t take responsibility for anything
相反 会让你觉得是你的错
and will instead make you feel as if it was all your fault.
一旦打完了架 他们会立刻原谅你
Once the fight is over, they may forgive you right away,
或者他们可能冷战
or they may keep up a cold facade
看你会做什么来赢回他们的喜爱
to see what you might do to win back their favor.
如果你觉得你可能在虐待的关系中
If you feel like you might be in an abusive relationship,
请寻求帮助
please seek help.
如果你常常受虐
If you are actively being abused,
马上拨打911举报
call 911 as soon as you can, and report it.
另外 根据你的居住地也有很多选择
There are also many options based on where you live as well.
这段视频的描述里有一些链接供大家参考
There’re some links in the description for this video.
那么 你的想法是什么呢
So, what are your thoughts?
如果想看更多视频 一定要评论哦
Be sure to comment below if you want to see more content like this.
订阅观看更多“Psych2go”的视频
And please subscribe to see more videos from Psycho2go.
多谢观看
Thanks for watching.
嘿 大家好 我只是想
Hey, everybody! I’m just want to give a
做个亲自感谢的视频给每一个
“personal thank-you” video for you guys for always
一直以来支持Psych2go的观众 让一切成为可能
supporting Psyco2go and making this all possible for us.
我们的愿望是让心理学触手可及
Our vision is to make psychology as accessible as possible
提升自我意识 帮助大家成长
so that it promotes self-awareness and I hope you guys grow.
然而 我们想为大家做更多内容
However, we want to make more content for you guys
如果大家从我们合作伙伴-“Introvert Palace”
and would love your support in
买一条这样的项链 我们感激不尽
buying one of these bracelets from our partner-Introvert Palace.
看看这条手链 多酷 甚至还有冥王星呢
Check out the bracelet. It’s pretty cool. And It even includes Pluto!
所有购买链接都会在下方的评论里
The link to purchase will all be in the description below.
希望大家愉快 再见
And I hope you guys have an amazing day. Bye!

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译制信息
视频概述

你是否在一份虐待关系中?戳进来看看吧

听录译者

来吧!尉英俊

翻译译者

波妞妞

审核员

审核员 HZ

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMDJkWl7E2A

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