– I’m married to my Netflix,
I don’t have these problems, I’m good.
So, most of us have been to, or at least seen, a wedding.
And every family has a different tradition.
Like, how someone’s uncle always seems to end up plastered
and owns the dance floor.
But, traditions vary from culture to culture, too.
Like in North America, for example,
we have the bouquet and garter toss.
Which is really weird if you think about it.
I mean, the groom throws something
that was wrapped around his wife’s leg,
and the bride throws flowers to which
everyone clamors for and screams
“I’m getting married next.”
But those are still nothing compared to
what other areas of the world do when they get married.
Toilet buffet, anyone?
These are the 10 most bizarre wedding traditions
from around the world.
Number one is the Blackening in Scotland.
In Scotland, it’s tradition to capture the bride
and/or groom days or weeks before the wedding,
and then dump countless things on them.
I’m not talking about nice things like water or confetti,
no, it wouldn’t be something simple as that.
不不不 我指的是那些变质的食物 腐烂的鱼
No, no, I’m talking about spoiled food, rotten fish,
变质牛奶 沥青 垃圾等等
curdled milk, tar, garbage, you name it.
The dirtier the betta’.
Once that deed is done,
the victim is then paraded around the city for all to see,
then taken out for a night of drinks.
Which, they’re definitely gonna need.
The belief is, if the person can
withstand that embarrassment,
of being covered in filth and shown around the community,
they can cope with anything in marriage.
Actually, the logic in this one is pretty sound,
I mean, I don’t want to get tarred and feathered
and whatnot but, makes a lotta sense.
Number two is tree marriage in India.
Many countries believe in curses,
and have countless ways to rid themselves
or their family members of those curses.
In certain areas of India,
a specific curse is removed through a wedding.
But, not just any wedding, it’s about to get weird.
Some women, who were born under
a certain astrological period, are called “mangliks.”
These women are thought to be so cursed,
that if they are married,
that they will cause their husband to die early.
So what logical thing do they do first?
Well, to remove the curse,
the woman is first married to a tree.
Once the nuptials are over,
the tree is cut down and destroyed,
and the curse is considered gone.
Poor tree, it never axed for any of that.
I’m sorry, let’s move on.
Number three is feet beating in Korea.
While some traditions are just weird,
others like this one are downright painful.
Like, walk into a door painful.
In Korea, once the wedding is over,
it’s tradition that the groom’s feet be beaten
with a fish or a cane.
I prefer the fish, I mean, isn’t that softer?
The shoes and socks of the groom are removed,
and the legs are tied together
while the friends just (imitates caning) go at it.
This is to ensure that he doesn’t disappoint his new wife
during their first night together as a married couple.
Yeah, I don’t understand the logic of that one.
If his legs don’t work and they’re all bruised,
and he’s hurt, I mean, that doesn’t make him
more likely to perform later, you know what I’m saying?
你知道我说的是什么 不 不是的
You know what I’m saying, no, it doesn’t.
Number four, are no bathroom breaks in Indonesia.
In Indonesia, once the wedding celebration is over
and the newlywed couple take off to enjoy their alone time,
AKA the honeymoon, that’s where the real challenge begins.
The family keeps watching over the couple to make sure
that they don’t use the bathroom for three days.
That’s right, not a single bathroom visit
for three days after the wedding.
It’s actually said to bring good luck to the couple,
and ensure that they have a long and happy marriage
full of healthy children.
I don’t know about a long, happy life,
but I can think of a long, happy something else
they’re gonna be releasin’.
Yeah, I don’t know about you,
but 72 hours without a single bowel movement
just sounds ouch-y.
That’s frigging disgusting,
I just wanna move on at this point.
Number five is chicken liver in China.
This is another instance of a tradition
that takes place before the wedding itself.
You see, in order to set a wedding date,
a couple from China or inner Mongolia
must hold a knife together and cut the cake.
哦 抱歉 我刚刚说的是蛋糕吗
Oops, I’m sorry, did I say cake?
I meant a baby chicken.
Upon doing so, the couple must inspect the chicken’s liver.
If it’s healthy, then they can set a wedding date.
If it isn’t then they must continue killing chicks
until they find a suitable one.
Otherwise, no wedding date can be planned.
Oh my God, you’re murdering chicks
to determine the wedding date?
I don’t have a joke for that, I’m just very sad.
Number six is war of the shoes in India.
Okay, imagine a game of capture the flag.
Two teams doing whatever they can
to grab on to a piece of cloth,
keeping it away from their opponents.
Well, that’s pretty much what this tradition is all about.
In India, right before the groom arrives at the altar,
he removes his shoes.
And upon doing so, the chaos begins.
The bride’s family instantly rushes over
to try to take the shoes,
while the groom’s family tries to protect them.
If the bride’s family is successful,
the groom must pay a so-called “ransom”
to try to get them back.
Well, all is fun in love and war and shoe stealing?
I don’t, this one’s weird.
Number seven is shooting arrows in China.
Let’s go back to China for a moment, they’re fun.
In the Uyghur culture,
a groom shoots his bride with three arrows.
But, no need to worry,
these arrows don’t have arrowheads on them,
so they aren’t deadly.
However, they are very painful nonetheless.
Once the arrows are shot, the groom picks them back up
and breaks each one of them.
This is supposed to be a gesture of love,
in that he will take care of her
for the rest of his life.
Well, at least they don’t use real arrowheads,
but I’m gonna be completely honest with you,
based on the other things on this list,
I would not put it past them.
Number eight is sex lessons in Africa.
Okay, now this gets awkward.
In some villages in Africa,
once the wedding ceremony is over,
and the honeymoon begins, so do the lessons.
Wait, lessons, yeah, well, once the newlyweds start their
(coughing) fun, they’re not alone.
Usually the village elder lies under the bed
after instructing the new bride
on how to satisfy her husband.
The reason she stays in the room
is in case there are any complications
and her support is needed again.
She’s strictly there for instructing the new couple
on how to, you know, enjoy their new time together.
And here I thought watching Titanic
有点尴尬吧 嘿嘿 哪有
with my parents was awkward, yeah, no.
Number nine are tears of joy in China.
Weddings are such a joyous occasion.
Such beautiful ceremonies and parents
giving away their children
may cause many tears of joy amongst the guests.
However, this tradition gives us
a slightly different situation.
In China, a month before the wedding,
the bride-to-be is required to cry
at least an hour a day, every day.
After 10 days, the mother is then to start crying.
10 days after that, the grandmother joins in the tears.
By the end of the month,
every female in the family is crying as well.
Since all the ladies cry in different tones,
it’s considered to be an expression of happiness,
with tears of joy.
How do you force yourself to cry that much?
I mean, are they just, like,
punching each other in the leg, or pinching each other,
or just eating entire onions like,
“Mom, I’m trying.” (crying)
And number 10 is the toilet buffet in France.
(imitates vomiting) Sorry.
It’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for.
In France, it’s tradition for the bridal party
to gather leftovers, whether it would be food, drink,
or pretty much anything edible,
and put it all into a toilet bowl replica.
This includes basically whatever
the party guests find absolutely disgusting.
Once that’s done, they bring the toilet bowl
into the room of the newlyweds,
and will not leave until the couple
drinks everything out of it.
This is supposedly to provide
fuel, you know,
for the wedding night.
This one’s gross.
I need to go throw up now.
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