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良好人际关系的10条准则 – 译学馆
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良好人际关系的10条准则

10 Habits of Healthy Relationships - Healthy Lifestyle Tips

大家好 在这个视频里
alright guys in this
我们将涉及到十条维系良好人际关系的准则
video.we’re going to be going over 10 habits of successful
它能够帮你完善自己
relationships now these are things that you can model yourself. these are things
同时这也是好的人际关系中的一些共通的部分 如果能你能学以致用
that successful relationships have in common that you can look at and go out
如果我做到了这几点 我可能会更好的处理人际关系
if I do that I will have a higher likelihood of having a successful
这里所说的人际交往指的是和男朋友或者女朋友约会
relationship now this can be anything from dating boyfriend/girlfriend
婚姻关系中的交往 和你朋友 同事 甚至是你的
marriage all the way down to just your friends just your co-workers even your
邻居的交往 它的涉及面很广 能使你有更好的
neighbors this is a broad spectrum of things it’s just having a great
人际关系 第一条准则是交流 有很多隔阂
relationship and number one is communication a lot of problems are
仅仅是因为人们不知道如何表达他们的感受
caused simply because people do not know how to communicate how they feel how
想法 阐明原因而造成的 如果你能够学会沟通
they think and what is causing the problem and if you get communication
那就是给良好人际关系的打下了基础 我知道有很多人
down it’s the foundation for a great relationship I know a lot of people who
他们是朋友关系但是他们在互相表达他们的感受时感到不舒服
are friends but don’t feel comfortable telling each other how they feel and
这是由于他们之间的关系处理得不够融洽 在他们的关系之中没有太多
because of that they have a very rocky relationship and there’s not much
实质和深层次的东西 如果这些朋友中的一个朋友
content there’s not much meat in the friendship it’s just you know if one of
发生了交通事故 他们会去医院的病床看望朋友 他们会
them got in a car accident they would show up to the hospital bed and they’d
说 “有什么可以帮得上忙的吗?乐意效劳”但他们并不是真的愿意提供帮助
say there’s anything I can do I’ll do it for you but they won’t actually mean it
他们绝不会愿意去给朋友洗脚 这是一个生僻怪诞的比喻
like they wouldn’t actually like scrub their feet that was a weird analogy but
但你们应该知道我想表达的意思 对我而言 这种人际关系没有什么意思
you know what I mean it’s not like a deep meaningful relationship to me
第二条准则是原谅别人 这条准则是我在我的人生中注意到的
number two is forgiveness and this is something that I’ve noticed in my life
你会发现有很多人在努力的尝试原谅某人
that you can find there’s a lot of people who struggle with forgiving
某些人和某些事 实际上我不太赞同这条准则但是你们也可以遵循这条准则
someone and something I actually I wouldn’t suggest this but you can do it
如果你真的想故意犯个错然后让其他人
if you want to is actually to make a mistake on purpose and then ask someone
原谅你 其实你朋友能在多大程度上原谅你可以决定
else for your forgiveness and in turn how they forgive you can determine the
你们之间友谊的深浅 所以这个本来就很容易造成误会 对我而言
quality of the relationship so it’s completely ambiguous I wouldn’t do
我不会做这种事情 但是只要你知道你的朋友 配偶
anything major but as long as you understand that your friend your spouse
你的女朋友 你的男朋友 还是无论是其他和你生活在一起的人能够原谅你
your girlfriend your boyfriend whoever you’re living with can forgive you
这就是良好的人际关系的体现 反过来你也可以这样做
that’s going to be a quality of a great relationship and you in turn can do that
你可以原谅别人所做的事情 实际上
yourself you can forgive people for what they have done and it’s actual
原谅并不只是说你道歉了就行了 原谅是像
forgiveness is not just saying that you apologized but forgiveness is like I
这样的 我将不会这样做了 我很抱歉 我感到很糟糕
I actually forgive you I’m not going to do it again I am sorry I feel bad that
这一点和第三个准则很像 那就是理解别人 当你理解了
It comes a lot with tip number 3 which is understanding when you understand the
那个人和他们的感受 这个时候原谅别人就更容易了 理解
person and how they feel it comes a lot easier to forgive them now understanding
是真的很困难 你需要考虑自己真的不是想表现得很低下
is really difficult and you kind of have to have I don’t want to be real cheesy
而是你想显示出你对他人包容的态度
about it but you have to have a big heart
你需要有一颗宽广的心胸去设身处地地为
have to have the openness to want to understand someone else in their
他人着想 对他人的感受有共鸣和同情心
situation and the empathy and the sympathy to know how someone else feels
我们要理解别人的处境 可能别人本意并不想
and understanding their situation that they may not have had the out to get you
让你误解 但是其中发生了一些事情 理解将
kind of thinking but something bad happens and that understanding will lead
会带来谅解 随着时间流逝 你理解别人 别人
to forgiveness and over time understanding them they will be more
有可能会以一颗更开放的胸怀原谅你 第四个准则是学会表达
likely to be open to understanding you tip number four is to understand the
你对他人的爱意 当你读了那本书后 你会知道
five love languages and when if you’ve ever read the book the five love
怎么表达你对别人的爱 你将开始懂得这是因为你爱某人所以你这样做 但是以一种消极的态度表达你
languages you will start to understand that’s loving someone but having a
对别人的爱是不行的 我谈论的一直
loving relationship isn’t something you can do passively you know I talk about
都是付出 你可以消极地付出 但是最终会导致
income all the time you can make passive income to where it just trickles into
不好的结果 这一点你想都不用想。
your bank account you don’t even have to think about it but a great relationship
如果你懂得了怎样表达你对他人的爱
if you understand the five love languages you start to understand that
那么你就不是被动的而是主动的 所以你必须主动而且
they’re not passive they’re active so you have to go out and it’s kind of
这个打破了你的习惯但是可以主动地表达出你对别人的爱
breaks down a habit a little bit but actively loving someone understanding
你会懂得如果我每周给朋友们一个礼物他们会感受到更多的爱
that this friend will feel more loved if I give them a gift every week and this
另外还有一些朋友不会有这种相同的感觉 但是如果能每天陪他们半个小时的话
friend on the other hand won’t feel the same way but they will feel loved even
他们会感受到更多的爱 关于怎样表达你的爱
more if I spend 30 minutes with them every day and the five love languages
你可以读那本书 你可以学到怎样和对方确认某事 怎样送礼物 什么样的时间是人际交往中的有效时间
you can read that book their words of affirmation service gifts quality time
以及怎样的身体接触是适当的 你可能在实际中碰到这里面的很多种情况
and physical touch and everyone’s different you might have a mix of those
我觉得其中最重要的是你要懂你自己
one of those I’d be super important to you you just have to understand yourself
你也要懂和你在人生中建立起
and you also have to understand the person that you’re with the
人际交往关系的那个人 当你开始分析一些事情时
relationships that you have built in your life when you start deconstructing
或当你发现他们怎样表达爱意或是什么对他们很重要的时候
them and finding out what their love languages or what their priorities are
你在养成人际交往习惯方面就有了更好的发展
then you can start to have a better relationship in terms of how you form
第五个准则是尊敬别人 现在这对我而言是一个很大的问题 实际上我
your habits tip number five is respect now this is a big one and I’ve actually
我在和我朋友相处时在这一点上存在一些问题 原因是我的朋友做的一些事情
had some struggle with this among some of my friends because they’ll go out and
让我难以去尊敬他们 但是我
do things and it’s hard for me to respect them through their actions but I
能告诉你们我真正尊敬的朋友以及和我关系较好的人
can tell you what the friends that I do respect I have a great relationship with
我尊敬这些朋友因为我觉得他们身上有某些好品质
you know I look up to them it’s like wow that’s a great quality that I think you
并且我自己也想具备那种品质 尊敬他们并且懂得
have and I would like to have that just respecting them understanding that
他们并不比你低下 他们是陪伴你的人 有时当你开始去认识
they’re not below you they are with you and sometimes when you start to look at
那些在某些方面比你差的人 你开始不那么尊敬他们因为你感觉
people below you you start to not respect them as much because you feel
他们不是很好 但是我不想过多谈论这个
like they’re undervalued but and I don’t want to talk about this as much because
因为我对这点了解不多 但是我肯定知道尊敬别人是良好的人际交往过程中的一个好习惯
I don’t know much about it but I do know it is a habit of great relationships
第六条准则是彼此心存感激之情 感激
respect tip number six is to appreciate each other now appreciation can
就又可以和我们前面说的表达爱意联系起来 我们可以说 我谢谢你
go anything all the way back to the five love languages to say I appreciate you
让我们能一起看日落看半个小时 我很感激你
let’s spend 30 minutes together watching the sunset – I appreciate you I wrote
所以当我想起你的时候我给你写了一个小纸条 或者是这是我度假时买给你的一个小礼物
you a little note when I thought of you or here’s a small gift when I was on
感激这所有的一切 有些时候你可以口头上对某个人说
vacation just appreciating them and sometimes you can even vocally tell
我感激你存在于我的生命之中
someone hey I appreciate that you’re in my life
这个在人际交往过程中很有用 第七条准则是分析问题时
and that helps out a lot tip number seven is to look at situations not that
要认识到不是我或者你的问题 的确不是我或者你的问题 我要再强调一遍
it’s me versus you it’s not me versus you I’m gonna say that one more time
这个问题不是我或者你的问题 而是我们都存在问题 所以当你遇到
it’s not me versus you what it is is us versus the problem so when you come at
一些事情时 有人会开始评头论足 就
something and there are people coming they start just butting heads and it’s
可能发生一些争吵 人们就开始互相抨击,
like where it’s like a war they’re starting to attack each other and attack
对彼此的人品加以评价 这就是问题
each other’s personal qualities and that’s that’s the problem in the first
的开始 这些人没有一起去解决问题
place isn’t that they’re not joining together to solve the problem and the
如果他们一起解决问题 那么你会发现这不是
thing is if they would just join together and go you know what it’s not
你的问题 也不是我的问题 这是我们两个人的问题 想想我们能够
your fault it’s not my fault it’s both of our faults what can we do to solve
为解决这个问题做些什么将会解决很多人际交往问题 我们要像一个
this problem that will solve so many relationship problems just coming at it
团队一样合作起来去解决问题 无论是婚姻关系中的问题 男女朋友关系中的问题
together as a team whether that’s a marriage team or a boyfriend/girlfriend
还是你和普通朋友关系中的问题 如果你能这样去看待它们
team or even you and your friend if you guys just start looking at problems and
我们可以一起合作去解决这些问题
bickers that you guys bickering as something that you guys can solve
那么你可能会在人际关系中处理得更好 第八条准则是
together you’ll have a lot more success in that relationship the next tip is
讲诚信 回顾我以往的生活 在我的生活里有很多次
that honesty comes first now there’s a lot of times in my life I can look back
我都能够很轻而易举地撒谎 但是
and go man it was really easy to lie there but when it comes down to it
友谊和良好的人际关系是一个长期的过程 所以如果你想要一个短暂的
friendships and great relationships are for the long term so if you want a short
友谊的话 那就撒谎吧 但是如果你能够
term relationship yeah go ahead and lie but if you be honest even if you be
在没发生什么事情前就做到诚实的话 你的朋友将会
honest first without going through a bunch of loopholes that friend will
更尊敬你 朋友们会更理解你 你将
start to respect you more they will understand you more you will start to
和他们沟通得更融洽 另外一个良好的人际交往关系的基础是
have better communication with them it’s just a another great foundational habit
首先要诚信 如果你
of a great relationship is to be honest first and if you don’t feel comfortable
对一个人诚实的时候你感到不舒服 那就可能是你受到心理上的虐待或者是
being honest to a person there might be some psychological abuse or something
有其它的原因使得你们间的关系不稳定 你
else going on that is making that relationship unsteady and you ma you
可能想逃避这段关系 第九条准则是给彼此留一定的时间
probably want to get away from that the next tip is to make time for each other
这个是我在人际交往中存在的一个问题 我认为很多企业家可能
now this is something I struggle with and I think a lot of entrepreneurs might
在这一点上存在一些问题因为他们喜欢工作
struggle with in relationships specifically because they love to work
我基本上也是一个工作狂 我很热爱工作 我的一个问题就是
I’m almost like a workaholic I love working something about me specifically
我不想花费时间
is that I don’t want to spend my time doing
做无意义的事情 所以我会区分有意义和无意义的事 我非常珍惜我的时间 有时
meaningless so I look at things and I value my time really high and sometimes
当我和女朋友一起外出时 如果我们玩得不是很开心 我就会
if I’m just out with my girlfriend and we’re not having a great time I almost
觉得不爽因为如果我把
start to look down upon that because I was like I could be making five or ten
这个时间放在做生意上面我可能一个月多挣五千或是一万美金 但是我
thousand more dollars a month if I spent that time on the business but I also
也从人际交往的角度看待这个事情 和女朋友之间的关系
look at the relationship view of it and I’m like you know this relationship is a
也是我人生中很重要的一件事 如果我没有女朋友的话 我可能没有动力去努力工作 所以
great thing in my life if I didn’t have it I might not want to work as hard so
这就是一个平衡问题 你自己要意识到
that’s something that you’ve got a balance and you’ve got to be self-aware
你生命中的多少时间想要用来工作以及你生命中的多少时间想要用来享受生活
to understand what percent of your life do you want to work and what percent of
企业家的问题
your life do you want to be actually part of your life and the entrepreneur
是怎样保持生活和工作的平衡 最后一条(第十条)准则是多笑
part of that is where can you mesh those the last tip is of course to laugh a lot
多笑会带来很多心理方面的好处 如果你
now there are a ton of psychological benefits to laughing a lot and if you
能养成下面这个习惯就很好 当你
can build a habit up to where when you spend time with someone and you just
和你朋友在一起时你有领袖气质 有时有些人会
when you’re around them you’re charismatic sometimes some people that
感觉当有其他人在场时 他自然地就有领袖气质了
I’m around I literally just feel more charismatic
这不是因为我变了 而是和我在一起的人让我
and it’s not even me that has changed it’s them it’s the people that I’m
感到更有领袖气质 我周围的人让我感到
around they make me feel more charismatic they make me feel like it’s
我可以笑 我可以做我自己 如果你能够让你周围
okay to laugh it’s okay to be myself and if you can surround yourself with people
有很多这种人 那么就又是另外一个培养良好人际关系的习惯 所以现在
like that that’s another great habit to form in a great relationship so I’m
我回顾和强调一下我们刚刚谈到的十条人际交往准则
gonna go back through and review these ten habits that you can come up with
这些准则是你能够想到的 这些准则也能帮你建立良好的人际关系
that you can model the masters to have a great relationship
第一条准则是交流 第二条准则是原谅别人 第三条准则是
number one is communication the next one’s forgiveness number three is
理解别人 第四条准则是理解并且积极地表达自己的爱意
understanding number four is to understand and actively pursue the five
第五条准则是尊敬别人 第
love languages number five is respect each other number
六条准则是彼此心存感激之情 第七条准则是认识到
six is to appreciate each other number seven is to look at things that it’s us
是我们都存在问题而不是我或者你的问题 第八条准则是讲诚信
versus the problem not me versus you number eight is to be always honest
第九条准则是给彼此留出一定时间 第十条准则是
first tip number nine is to make time for each other and said number ten is to
多笑 我希望大家能够喜欢这个视频然后从中学到一些东西 如果你有
laugh a lot hope you guys enjoy this video learn something and if you have
任何问题 你可以发邮件到我的谷歌邮箱咨询在实际生活中碰到的一些人际交往问题
any questions email me at practical psychology tips at gmail.com
如果大家喜欢这个视频 想要读一读我写的那本书 想知道
if you guys enjoyed that video and want to read the book I wrote that it came
从哪里可以买这本书 你们可以在亚马逊网站里面搜索“收获习惯的人”或者点开链接
from search Amazon for habit harvester or click the link in the description the
这本书不用花费太长时间就能看完 但是它里面包含很多
book is short enough to read in one sitting but is jam-packed with tons of
类似于你在这个视频里看到的信息
information just like you saw in this video
实际上我也在书里面增加了一些故事 修改了
in fact I’ve also added a few extra stories and fixed some of the errors
在这个网课里发现的错误 书里面还有很多精美的插图用来帮助
found in this video course there’s also plenty of amazing illustrations to aid
你学习以及使这本书读起来有趣 如果你感兴趣的话
in the learning process and keep the book fun to read if you’re interested
你可以用2.99美元购买电子版本或者你可以注册一个月无限电子书会员
you can buy the Kindle version for $2.99 or sign up for a month of Kindle
然后就可以免费获取 我自己也会用这种方式 然后可以利用无限电子书会员 接触到
unlimited to get it for free which is what I personally use and you get access
百万本电子书 成千本有声读物
to millions of other ebooks and thousands of audiobooks included in your
当你买了电子书后你甚至都不需要用
Kindle unlimited membership when you buy the Kindle version you don’t even need a
电子书阅读器去读书 你可以在智能机上下载电子阅读器客户端 或者你
Kindle to read it you can download the Kindle app on your smart phone download
可以下载电脑客户端 再或者你可以通过亚马逊网的云服务器看书 如果
the software for PC or even read it on amazon.com through their cloud server if
你想要看这一系列视频里其他的视频 点开这个链接或者
you want to watch the rest of the videos in this series click this thingy or
搜索播放列表 非常感谢大家的
check the link in the description for a playlist thank you guys so much for
观看
watching

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视频概述

本视频主要是在前面部分具体介绍了我们为了培养良好的人际关系所应遵循的10条准则,最后在结束部分又强调说明了我们在培养良好人际关系时所应遵循的10条准则

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

洛洛

审核员

译学馆审核员B

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFlDWciH5fQ

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