Have you ever met someone and thought to yourself
Man, I could spend the rest of my life with this person?
Then, as you get to know them over a few years
or maybe it’s only been a few months.
But the challenges you face start tearing you guys apart.
They call these growing pains,
but when does the pain stop
and why does it feel like you’re shrinking instead?
Are you wondering where you and your partner went wrong?
Here are 10 common relationship mistakes.
1.You take your partner for granted.
Psychologists Susan Whitburn says
it’s too easy to dismiss the people you’re closest to
because you expect them to be there no matter what.
Although it’s great that you trust your partner to stick around on the bad days,
it doesn’t mean you have to force them to sync with you each time.
In the long run, selfish behavior only results to resentment.
2.You overstep your partner’s boundaries.
No one’s perfect, not even your soulmate,
so when you don’t leave room in your relationship to show your flaws,
it can easily lead to relationship dissatisfaction.
Professor Lee from the University of Toronto, (shout out to our Canadians) discovered that
people who view relationships as a perfect unity
have a worse relationship than those who see it as a journey of growing.
3. You play that assumption game.
Have you ever been upset because someone jumped to the wrong conclusion?
Dating and relationship coach, Broke Bergman said that
this happens all the time in a relationship
when we assume we know what our partners need.
但有时 无知令你卑恭 询问并非伤害
But sometimes, not knowing can be humbling and asking never hurts.
4.You and your partner avoid conflict.
There’s a difference between a happy relationship and being happy every day
And more often than not,
establishing that healthy fulfilling relationship includes fighting.
第五 过于较真 为小事而争吵
5.You obsess and fight over everything.
On the other hand,
if you swing to extreme and get mad over the small details,
this can also be bad for the relationship.
Before reacting, take a step back and consider
whether your partner’s actions are true deal breakers.
6.Your happiness depends too much on being with your partner.
Asking for help is good when you’re being honest about your needs.
But if you need to consult your partner before making every decision,
you’ll forget to be your own person.
7. You constantly question your relationship.
Do you think about what problems your relationship will face
before they actually occur?
Constantly ruminating will only bring you to a dark place
when you could be using that time instead to talk things out with your partner.
8.You keep score in your relationship.
Psychology professor and relationship expert Marissa Cohan,
sees this one happen a lot.
When you obsess over keeping things equal with your partner,
whether it means exchanging gifts or doing favors,
you no longer focus on the relationship.
Instead, it’s about you
9. You stop being kind to each other.
Based on his studies,
psychologist John Gottman can predict with up to 94 % certainty
which couples will be either broken up or still be happy and together many years down the road.
It all comes down to one factor,
The minute you show contempt for your partner,
the less likely you already are to work things out.
10. You feel hopeless and give up on the relationship too soon.
Social media often shows you the sweet side of the relationships.
比如牵手 逗人的吻痕 周年纪念
The hand-holding, adorable pecks on the cheeks and anniversary celebrated.
But behind the scenes,
it takes hard work and commitment to keep the flame living.
When you give up too soon when the going get’s tough,
you also miss out on building resilience together.
Which of these relationship mistakes do you often run into
and what would you like to do differently now?
Please share your thoughts with us down below.
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